French and Oriental Love in a Harem - Page 69/178

As she said these words, she threw herself down at my feet, which she

hugged in a delirium of passion. Her tears coursed down her cheeks, and

upon my hands, which she covered with kisses. In her intense emotion her

voice betokened such bitter distress, that in spite of my determination

to punish her, I felt softened towards her. In presence of these

transports of a passion, which admitted no other motive but that of her

jealous rage, I saw that it was in vain for me to attempt to awaken her

conscience to the sense of her guilty conduct. She could neither hear

nor feel anything but the echo of her own grief. I loved her no longer,

and I loved Hadidjé! These words returned to her lips over and over

again, amid sobs so heart-rending that, overcome by pity, and

forgetting my resolution, I could not help uttering a word of

protestation. I had hardly spoken, when she exclaimed-"Is that true? Do you really love me? Will you swear it?"

I then understood the imprudence I had committed, but it was too late.

Kondjé-Gul, passing at once from affliction to joy, had clasped me in

her arms. I wanted to remain stern; but how could I contend by any

arguments with such outbursts of mad jealousy? She would not listen to

me: she implored me with all the frenzied entreaties and reproaches of

which an unreasoning nature is capable. At one moment I believed that I

had at last brought her mind to realise the actual situation between us,

and the justice of my complaints against her conduct.

"Well, yes!" she said, "I have been very foolish. I ought to have thrown

myself at your feet three days ago! Ah, if you only knew how wretched

your coldness made me! Listen: when you came in just now, thinking that

I had lost your love for ever, I was considering how I could kill

myself. But you have forgiven me, have you not?--No, no! don't speak to

me about them!" she continued, sharply, seeing that I was about to

answer. "You know very well that I am no longer like them; you have

formed my heart for a different love to that of the harem. I no longer

love you just as they do. No! As for you, you shall love me just as you

please--as your servant, if such is your will. Imprison me, if you like,

as a punishment; all I want is to see you, and to love you. Yes, I was

wrong in striking that Hadidjé. You know very well that I am still a

savage, for you have often told me so. Well, then, teach me your own

ideas, your religion. Tell me what you wish me to be?" she added

finally, in tones so soft and tender that I was quite overcome by her.