At last my old governess came to me, with her usual assurance. 'Come,
my dear,' says she, 'I have found out a way how you shall be at a
certainty that your child shall be used well, and yet the people that
take care of it shall never know you, or who the mother of the child
is.' 'Oh mother,' says I, 'if you can do so, you will engage me to you for
ever.' 'Well,' says she, 'are you willing to be a some small annual
expense, more than what we usually give to the people we contract
with?' 'Ay,' says I, 'with all my heart, provided I may be concealed.'
'As to that,' says the governess, 'you shall be secure, for the nurse
shall never so much as dare to inquire about you, and you shall once or
twice a year go with me and see your child, and see how 'tis used, and
be satisfied that it is in good hands, nobody knowing who you are.' 'Why,' said I, 'do you think, mother, that when I come to see my child,
I shall be able to conceal my being the mother of it? Do you think
that possible?' 'Well, well,' says my governess, 'if you discover it, the nurse shall
be never the wiser; for she shall be forbid to ask any questions about
you, or to take any notice. If she offers it, she shall lose the money
which you are suppose to give her, and the child shall be taken from
her too.' I was very well pleased with this. So the next week a countrywoman was
brought from Hertford, or thereabouts, who was to take the child off
our hands entirely for #10 in money. But if I would allow #5 a year
more of her, she would be obliged to bring the child to my governess's
house as often as we desired, or we should come down and look at it,
and see how well she used it.
The woman was very wholesome-looking, a likely woman, a cottager's
wife, but she had very good clothes and linen, and everything well
about her; and with a heavy heart and many a tear, I let her have my
child. I had been down at Hertford, and looked at her and at her
dwelling, which I liked well enough; and I promised her great things if
she would be kind to the child, so she knew at first word that I was
the child's mother. But she seemed to be so much out of the way, and
to have no room to inquire after me, that I thought I was safe enough.
So, in short, I consented to let her have the child, and I gave her
#10; that is to say, I gave it to my governess, who gave it the poor
woman before my face, she agreeing never to return the child back to
me, or to claim anything more for its keeping or bringing up; only that
I promised, if she took a great deal of care of it, I would give her
something more as often as I came to see it; so that I was not bound to
pay the #5, only that I promised my governess I would do it. And thus
my great care was over, after a manner, which though it did not at all
satisfy my mind, yet was the most convenient for me, as my affairs then
stood, of any that could be thought of at that time.