I blamed him for that, and told him I blamed him on two accounts;
first, because if he was transported, there might be a hundred ways for
him that was a gentleman, and a bold enterprising man, to find his way
back again, and perhaps some ways and means to come back before he
went. He smiled at that part, and said he should like the last the
best of the two, for he had a kind of horror upon his mind at his being
sent over to the plantations, as Romans sent condemned slaves to work
in the mines; that he thought the passage into another state, let it be
what it would, much more tolerable at the gallows, and that this was
the general notion of all the gentlemen who were driven by the exigence
of their fortunes to take the road; that at the place of execution
there was at least an end of all the miseries of the present state, and
as for what was to follow, a man was, in his opinion, as likely to
repent sincerely in the last fortnight of his life, under the pressures
and agonies of a jail and the condemned hole, as he would ever be in
the woods and wilderness of America; that servitude and hard labour
were things gentlemen could never stoop to; that it was but the way to
force them to be their own executioners afterwards, which was much
worse; and that therefore he could not have any patience when he did
but think of being transported.
I used the utmost of my endeavour to persuade him, and joined that
known woman's rhetoric to it--I mean, that of tears. I told him the
infamy of a public execution was certainly a greater pressure upon the
spirits of a gentleman than any of the mortifications that he could
meet with abroad could be; that he had at least in the other a chance
for his life, whereas here he had none at all; that it was the easiest
thing in the world for him to manage the captain of a ship, who were,
generally speaking, men of good-humour and some gallantry; and a small
matter of conduct, especially if there was any money to be had, would
make way for him to buy himself off when he came to Virginia.
He looked wistfully at me, and I thought I guessed at what he meant,
that is to say, that he had no money; but I was mistaken, his meaning
was another way. 'You hinted just now, my dear,' said he, 'that there
might be a way of coming back before I went, by which I understood you
that it might be possible to buy it off here. I had rather give #200
to prevent going, than #100 to be set at liberty when I came there.'
'That is, my dear,' said I, 'because you do not know the place so well
as I do.' 'That may be,' said he; 'and yet I believe, as well as you
know it, you would do the same, unless it is because, as you told me,
you have a mother there.' I told him, as to my mother, it was next to impossible but that she
must be dead many years before; and as for any other relations that I
might have there, I knew them not now; that since the misfortunes I had
been under had reduced me to the condition I had been in for some
years, I had not kept up any correspondence with them; and that he
would easily believe, I should find but a cold reception from them if I
should be put to make my first visit in the condition of a transported
felon; that therefore, if I went thither, I resolved not to see them;
but that I had many views in going there, if it should be my fate,
which took off all the uneasy part of it; and if he found himself
obliged to go also, I should easily instruct him how to manage himself,
so as never to go a servant at all, especially since I found he was not
destitute of money, which was the only friend in such a condition.