Vanity Fair - Page 16/573

A VERY stout, puffy man, in buckskins and Hessian boots, with several

immense neckcloths that rose almost to his nose, with a red striped

waistcoat and an apple green coat with steel buttons almost as large as

crown pieces (it was the morning costume of a dandy or blood of those

days) was reading the paper by the fire when the two girls entered, and

bounced off his arm-chair, and blushed excessively, and hid his entire

face almost in his neckcloths at this apparition.

"It's only your sister, Joseph," said Amelia, laughing and shaking the

two fingers which he held out. "I've come home FOR GOOD, you know; and

this is my friend, Miss Sharp, whom you have heard me mention."

"No, never, upon my word," said the head under the neckcloth, shaking

very much--"that is, yes--what abominably cold weather, Miss"--and

herewith he fell to poking the fire with all his might, although it was

in the middle of June.

"He's very handsome," whispered Rebecca to Amelia, rather loud.

"Do you think so?" said the latter. "I'll tell him."

"Darling! not for worlds," said Miss Sharp, starting back as timid as a

fawn. She had previously made a respectful virgin-like curtsey to the

gentleman, and her modest eyes gazed so perseveringly on the carpet

that it was a wonder how she should have found an opportunity to see

him.

"Thank you for the beautiful shawls, brother," said Amelia to the fire

poker. "Are they not beautiful, Rebecca?"

"O heavenly!" said Miss Sharp, and her eyes went from the carpet

straight to the chandelier.

Joseph still continued a huge clattering at the poker and tongs,

puffing and blowing the while, and turning as red as his yellow face

would allow him. "I can't make you such handsome presents, Joseph,"

continued his sister, "but while I was at school, I have embroidered

for you a very beautiful pair of braces."

"Good Gad! Amelia," cried the brother, in serious alarm, "what do you

mean?" and plunging with all his might at the bell-rope, that article

of furniture came away in his hand, and increased the honest fellow's

confusion. "For heaven's sake see if my buggy's at the door. I CAN'T

wait. I must go. D---- that groom of mine. I must go."

At this minute the father of the family walked in, rattling his seals

like a true British merchant. "What's the matter, Emmy?" says he.

"Joseph wants me to see if his--his buggy is at the door. What is a

buggy, Papa?"

"It is a one-horse palanquin," said the old gentleman, who was a wag in

his way.

Joseph at this burst out into a wild fit of laughter; in which,

encountering the eye of Miss Sharp, he stopped all of a sudden, as if

he had been shot.