The Eternal City - Page 108/385

"The truth is that we cannot be friends any longer, for the reason

that I love some one in whom you are, unhappily, too much

interested, and because there are obstacles between that person

and myself which are decisive and insurmountable. This alone puts

it on me as a point of honour that you and I should never see each

other again. Each of my visits adds to my embarrassment, to the

feeling that I am doing wrong in paying them, and to the certainty

that I must give them up altogether.

"Thank you again and again for the more than pleasant hours we

have spent together. It is not your fault that I must bury the

memory of them in oblivion. This does not mean that it is any part

of the painful but unavoidable result of circumstances I cannot

explain, that we should not write to each other as occasion may

arise. Continue to think of me as your brother--your brother far

away--to be called upon for counsel in your hour of need and

necessity. And whenever you call, be sure I shall be there.

"What you say of an important matter suggests that something has

come to your knowledge which concerns myself and the authorities;

but when a man has spent all his life on the edge of a precipice,

the most urgent perils are of little moment, and I beg of you not

to be alarmed for my sake. Whatever it is, it is only a part of

the atmosphere of danger I have always lived in--the glacier I

have always walked upon--and 'if it is not now, it is to come; if

it is not to come, it will be now--the

readiness is all.' Good-bye!--Yours, dear R----, D."

III

Next day brought Roma's reply.

"MY DEAR D.,--Your letter has thrown me into the wildest state of

excitement and confusion. I have done no work all day long, and

when Black has leapt upon me and cried, 'Come out for a walk, you

dear, dear dunce,' I have hardly known whether he barked or

talked.

"I am sorry our charming intercourse is to be interrupted, but you

can't mean that it is to be broken off altogether. You can't, you

can't, or my eyes would be red with crying, instead of dancing

with delight.

"Yet why they should dance I don't really know, seeing you are so

indefinite, and I have no right to understand anything. If you

cannot write by post, or even send messages by hand, if my man F.

is your enemy, and your housemate B. is mine, isn't that precisely

the best reason why you should come and talk matters over? Come at

once. I bid you come! In a matter of such inconceivable

importance, surely a sister has a right to command.