The Rainbow - Page 163/493

He made himself a woodwork shed, in which to restore things

which were destroyed in the church. So he had plenty to do: his

wife, his child, the church, the woodwork, and his wage-earning,

all occupying him. If only there were not some limit to him,

some darkness across his eyes! He had to give in to it at last

himself. He must submit to his own inadequacy, aware of some

limit to himself, of [something unformed in] his own black,

violent temper, and to reckon with it. But as she was more gentle

with him, it became quieter.

As he sat sometimes very still, with a bright, vacant face,

Anna could see the suffering among the brightness. He was aware

of some limit to himself, of something unformed in his very

being, of some buds which were not ripe in him, some folded

centres of darkness which would never develop and unfold whilst

he was alive in the body. He was unready for fulfilment.

Something undeveloped in him limited him, there was a darkness

in him which he could not unfold, which would never

unfold in him.