Very close, marvelling and exceedingly joyful in their
discoveries, his hands pressed upon her, so subtly, so
seekingly, so finely and desirously searching her out, that she
too was almost swooning in the absolute of sensual knowledge. In
utter sensual delight she clenched her knees, her thighs, her
loins together! It was an added beauty to him.
But he was patiently working for her relaxation, patiently,
his whole being fixed in the smile of latent gratification, his
whole body electric with a subtle, powerful, reducing force upon
her. So he came at length to kiss her, and she was almost
betrayed by his insidious kiss. Her open mouth was too helpless
and unguarded. He knew this, and his first kiss was very gentle,
and soft, and assuring, so assuring. So that her soft,
defenseless mouth became assured, even bold, seeking upon his
mouth. And he answered her gradually, gradually, his soft kiss
sinking in softly, softly, but ever more heavily, more heavily
yet, till it was too heavy for her to meet, and she began to
sink under it. She was sinking, sinking, his smile of latent
gratification was becoming more tense, he was sure of her. He
let the whole force of his will sink upon her to sweep her away.
But it was too great a shock for her. With a sudden horrible
movement she ruptured the state that contained them both.
"Don't--don't!"
It was a rather horrible cry that seemed to come out of her,
not to belong to her. It was some strange agony of terror crying
out the words. There was something vibrating and beside herself
in the noise. His nerves ripped like silk.
"What's the matter?" he said, as if calmly. "What's the
matter?"
She came back to him, but trembling, reservedly this
time.
Her cry had given him gratification. But he knew he had been
too sudden for her. He was now careful. For a while he merely
sheltered her. Also there had broken a flaw into his perfect
will. He wanted to persist, to begin again, to lead up to the
point where he had let himself go on her, and then manage more
carefully, successfully. So far she had won. And the battle was
not over yet. But another voice woke in him and prompted him to
let her go--let her go in contempt.
He sheltered her, and soothed her, and caressed her, and
kissed her, and again began to come nearer, nearer. He gathered
himself together. Even if he did not take her, he would make her
relax, he would fuse away her resistance. So softly, softly,
with infinite caressiveness he kissed her, and the whole of his
being seemed to fondle her. Till, at the verge, swooning at the
breaking point, there came from her a beaten, inarticulate,
moaning cry: "Don't--oh, don't!"