Tess of the dUrbervilles - Page 210/283

She slackened speed without looking round.

"Tess!" he repeated. "It is I--Alec d'Urberville."

She then looked back at him, and he came up. "I see it is," she answered coldly.

"Well--is that all? Yet I deserve no more! Of course," he added,

with a slight laugh, "there is something of the ridiculous to your

eyes in seeing me like this. But--I must put up with that. ... I

heard you had gone away; nobody knew where. Tess, you wonder why I

have followed you?"

"I do, rather; and I would that you had not, with all my heart!"

"Yes--you may well say it," he returned grimly, as they moved onward

together, she with unwilling tread. "But don't mistake me; I beg

this because you may have been led to do so in noticing--if you did

notice it--how your sudden appearance unnerved me down there. It was

but a momentary faltering; and considering what you have been to me,

it was natural enough. But will helped me through it--though perhaps

you think me a humbug for saying it--and immediately afterwards I

felt that of all persons in the world whom it was my duty and desire

to save from the wrath to come--sneer if you like--the woman whom I

had so grievously wronged was that person. I have come with that

sole purpose in view--nothing more."

There was the smallest vein of scorn in her words of rejoinder: "Have

you saved yourself? Charity begins at home, they say."

"I have done nothing!" said he indifferently. "Heaven, as I have

been telling my hearers, has done all. No amount of contempt that

you can pour upon me, Tess, will equal what I have poured upon

myself--the old Adam of my former years! Well, it is a strange

story; believe it or not; but I can tell you the means by which my

conversion was brought about, and I hope you will be interested

enough at least to listen. Have you ever heard the name of the

parson of Emminster--you must have done do?--old Mr Clare; one of the

most earnest of his school; one of the few intense men left in the

Church; not so intense as the extreme wing of Christian believers

with which I have thrown in my lot, but quite an exception among the

Established clergy, the younger of whom are gradually attenuating the

true doctrines by their sophistries, till they are but the shadow of

what they were. I only differ from him on the question of Church and

State--the interpretation of the text, 'Come out from among them and

be ye separate, saith the Lord'--that's all. He is one who, I firmly

believe, has been the humble means of saving more souls in this

country than any other man you can name. You have heard of him?"