"I think I must leave you now," he remarked, as they drew near to
this spot. "I have to preach at Abbot's-Cernel at six this evening,
and my way lies across to the right from here. And you upset me
somewhat too, Tessy--I cannot, will not, say why. I must go away and
get strength. ... How is it that you speak so fluently now? Who has
taught you such good English?" "I have learnt things in my troubles," she said evasively.
"What troubles have you had?" She told him of the first one--the only one that related to him. D'Urberville was struck mute. "I knew nothing of this till now!"
he next murmured. "Why didn't you write to me when you felt your
trouble coming on?" She did not reply; and he broke the silence by adding: "Well--you
will see me again." "No," she answered. "Do not again come near me!"
"I will think. But before we part come here." He stepped up to the
pillar. "This was once a Holy Cross. Relics are not in my creed; but
I fear you at moments--far more than you need fear me at present; and
to lessen my fear, put your hand upon that stone hand, and swear that
you will never tempt me--by your charms or ways." "Good God--how can you ask what is so unnecessary! All that is
furthest from my thought!" "Yes--but swear it." Tess, half frightened, gave way to his importunity; placed her hand
upon the stone and swore. "I am sorry you are not a believer," he continued; "that some
unbeliever should have got hold of you and unsettled your mind. But
no more now. At home at least I can pray for you; and I will; and
who knows what may not happen? I'm off. Goodbye!"
He turned to a hunting-gate in the hedge and, without letting his
eyes again rest upon her, leapt over and struck out across the down
in the direction of Abbot's-Cernel. As he walked his pace showed
perturbation, and by-and-by, as if instigated by a former thought,
he drew from his pocket a small book, between the leaves of which
was folded a letter, worn and soiled, as from much re-reading.
D'Urberville opened the letter. It was dated several months before
this time, and was signed by Parson Clare.
The letter began by expressing the writer's unfeigned joy at
d'Urberville's conversion, and thanked him for his kindness in
communicating with the parson on the subject. It expressed Mr
Clare's warm assurance of forgiveness for d'Urberville's former
conduct and his interest in the young man's plans for the future.
He, Mr Clare, would much have liked to see d'Urberville in the Church
to whose ministry he had devoted so many years of his own life, and
would have helped him to enter a theological college to that end; but
since his correspondent had possibly not cared to do this on account
of the delay it would have entailed, he was not the man to insist
upon its paramount importance. Every man must work as he could best
work, and in the method towards which he felt impelled by the Spirit.