When I arose in the morning, I went to wait on Lady Davers, seeing her
door open; and she was in bed, but awake, and talking to her woman. I
said, I hope I don't disturb your ladyship. Not at all, said she; I am
glad to see you. How do you do? Well, added she, when do you set out for
Bedfordshire?--I said, I can't tell, madam; it was designed as to-day,
but I have heard no more of it. Sit down, said she, on the bed-side.--I find, by the talk we had
yesterday and last night, you have had but a poor time of it, Pamela, (I
must call you so yet, said she,) since you were brought to this house,
till within these few days. And Mrs. Jewkes too has given Beck such an
account, as makes me pity you. Indeed, madam, said I, if your ladyship knew all, you would pity me; for
never poor creature was so hard put to it. But I ought to forget it all
now, and be thankful. Why, said she, as far as I can find, 'tis a mercy you are here now. I
was sadly moved with some part of your story and you have really made a
noble defence, and deserve the praises of all our sex.
It was God enabled me, madam, replied I. Why, said she, 'tis the more
extraordinary, because I believe, if the truth was known, you loved the
wretch not a little. While my trials lasted, madam, said I, I had not a
thought of any thing, but to preserve my innocence, much less of love.
But, tell me truly, said she, did you not love him all the time? I had
always, madam, answered I, a great reverence for my master, and thought
all his good actions doubly good and for his naughty ones, though I
abhorred his attempts upon me, yet I could not hate him; and always
wished him well; but I did not know that it was love. Indeed I had not
the presumption. Sweet girl! said she; that's prettily said: But when he found he could
not gain his ends, and began to be sorry for your sufferings, and to
admire your virtue, and to profess honourable love to you, what did you
think? Think! Indeed, madam, I did not know what to think! could neither hope
nor believe so great an honour would fall to my lot, and feared more
from his kindness, for some time, than I had done from his unkindness:
And, having had a private intimation, from a kind friend, of a sham
marriage, intended by means of a man who was to personate a minister, it
kept my mind in too much suspense, to be greatly overjoyed at his kind
declaration. Said she, I think he did make two or three attempts upon you in
Bedfordshire? Yes, madam, said I; he was very naughty, to be sure.