I am resolved to keep account of all these matters, and Mr. Longman has
already furnished me with a vellum book of white paper; some sides of
which I hope soon to fill with the names of proper objects: And though
my dear master has given me all this without account, yet shall he see
(but nobody else) how I lay it out, from quarter to quarter; and I will,
if any be left, carry it on, like an accomptant, to the next quarter,
and strike a balance four times a year, and a general balance at
every year's end.--And I have written in it, Humble RETURNS for DIVINE
MERCIES; and locked it up safe in my newly-presented cabinet.
I intend to let Lady Davers see no farther of my papers, than to her own
angry letter to her brother; for I would not have her see my reflections
upon it; and she'll know, down to that place, all that's necessary for
her curiosity, as to my sufferings, and the stratagems used against me,
and the honest part I have been enabled to act: And I hope, when she has
read them all, she will be quite reconciled: for she will see it is all
God Almighty's doings; and that a gentleman of his parts and knowledge
was not to be drawn in by such a poor young body as me. I will detain John no longer. He will tell you to read this last part
first, and while he stays. And so, with my humble duty to you both, and
my dear Mr. B----'s kind remembrance, I rest Your ever-dutiful and gratefully happy DAUGHTER. Wednesday evening.
HONOURED FATHER AND MOTHER!
I will now proceed with my journal.
On Tuesday morning, my dear sir rode out, and brought with him to
dinner, Mr. Martin of the Grove, and Mr. Arthur, and Mr. Brooks, and one
Mr. Chambers; and he stept up to me, and said he had rode out too far
to return to breakfast; but he had brought with him some of his old
acquaintance, to dine with me. Are you sorry for it, Pamela? said he. I
remembered his lessons, and said No, sure, sir; I cannot be angry at any
thing you are pleased to do. Said he, You know Mr. Martin's character,
and have severely censured him in one of your letters, as one of my
brother rakes, and for his three lyings-in.
He then gave me the following account, how he came to bring them. Said
he, 'I met them all at Mr. Arthur's; and his lady asked me, if I was
really married? I said, Yes, really. And to whom? said Mr. Martin. Why,
replied I, bluntly, to my mother's waiting-maid. They could not tell
what to say to me hereupon, and looked one upon another. And I saw I had
spoiled a jest, from each. Mrs. Arthur said, You have, indeed, sir, a
charming creature, as ever I saw; and she has mighty good luck. Ay, said
I, and so have I. But I shall say the less, because a man never did any
thing of this nature, that he did not think he ought, if it were but
in policy, to make the best of it. Nay, said Mr. Arthur, if you have
sinned, it is with your eyes open: for you know the world as well as any
gentleman of your years in it.'