I stay! dear Mrs. Jervis; said I; why it is the best news that could
have come to me, that he will let me go. I do nothing but long to go
back again to my poverty and distress, as he threatened I should; for
though I am sure of the poverty, I shall not have half the distress I
have had for some months past, I'll assure you.
Mrs. Jervis, dear good soul! wept over me, and said, Well, well, Pamela,
I did not think I had shewn so little love to you, as that you should
express so much joy upon leaving me. I am sure I never had a child half
so dear to me as you are.
I went to hear her so good to me, as indeed she has always been, and
said, What would you have me to do, dear Mrs. Jervis? I love you next to
my own father and mother, and to leave you is the chief concern I have
at quitting this place; but I am sure it is certain ruin if I stay.
After such offers, and such threatenings, and his comparing himself to a
wicked ravisher in the very time of his last offer; and turning it into
a jest, that we should make a pretty story in a romance; can I stay and
be safe? Has he not demeaned himself twice? And it behoves me to beware
of the third time, for fear he should lay his snares surer; for perhaps
he did not expect a poor servant would resist her master so much. And
must it not be looked upon as a sort of warrant for such actions, if
I stay after this? For, I think, when one of our sex finds she is
attempted, it is an encouragement to the attempter to proceed, if one
puts one's self in the way of it, when one can help it: 'Tis neither
more nor less than inviting him to think that one forgives, what, in
short, ought not to be forgiven: Which is no small countenance to foul
actions, I'll assure you.
She hugged me to her, and said I'll assure you! Pretty-face, where
gottest thou all thy knowledge, and thy good notions, at these years?
Thou art a miracle for thy age, and I shall always love thee.--But, do
you resolve to leave us, Pamela?
Yes, my dear Mrs. Jervis, said I; for, as matters stand, how can I do
otherwise?--But I'll finish the duties of my place first, if I may; and
hope you'll give me a character, as to my honesty, that it may not be
thought I was turned away for any harm. Ay, that I will, said she; I
will give thee such a character as never girl at thy years deserved. And
I am sure, said I, I will always love and honour you, as my third-best
friend, wherever I go, or whatever becomes of me.