What tenderness! what assurances of marriage! what
letters! She never wrote the like to me. Thus,' continued he, 'am I
at once pierced with anguish for her death and for her falsehood, two
evils which have been often compared, but never felt before by the same
person at the same time; I confess, to my shame, that still I am more
grieved for her loss than for her change; I cannot think her guilty
enough, to consent to her death: were she living, I should have the
satisfaction to reproach her, and to revenge myself on her by making
her sensible of her injustice; but I shall see her no more, I shall see
her no more; this is the greatest misfortune of all others; would I
could restore her to life, though with the loss of my own! Yet what do
I wish!
If she were restored to life, she would live for Etouteville:
how happy was I yesterday,' cried he, 'how happy! I was the most
afflicted man in the world; but my affliction was reasonable, and there
was something pleasing in the very thought that I was inconsolable;
today all my sentiments are unjust; I pay to a feigned passion the
tribute of my grief, which I thought I owed to a real one; I can
neither hate nor love her memory; I am incapable of consolation, and
yet don't know how to grieve for her; take care, I conjure you, that I
never see Etouteville; his very name raises horror in me; I know very
well I have no reason of complaint against him; I was to blame in
concealing from him my love for Madam de Tournon; if he had known it,
perhaps he would not have pursued her, perhaps she would not have been
false to me; he came to me to impart his sorrows, and I cannot but pity
him; alas! he had reason to love Madam de Tournon, he was beloved by
her, and will never see her more: notwithstanding I perceive I can't
help hating him; once more I conjure you take care I may not see him.'
"Sancerre burst afterwards into tears, began again to regret Madam de
Tournon, and to speak to her, as if she were present, and say the
softest things in the world; from these transports he passed to hatred,
to complaints, to reproaches and imprecations against her. When I saw
him in so desperate a condition, I found I should want somebody to
assist me in appeasing his mind; accordingly I sent for his brother,
whom I had left with the King; I met him in the anti-chamber, and
acquainted him with Sancerre's condition: we gave the necessary orders
to prevent his seeing Etouteville, and employed part of the night in
endeavouring to make him capable of reason; this morning I found him
yet more afflicted; his brother continued with him, and I returned to
you."