He set himself to recall to mind all the actions of Madam de Cleves
ever since he had been in love with her; her cruelty and rigour, and
that modesty and decency of behaviour she had always observed towards
him, though she loved him; "For, after all, she loves me," said he,
"she loves me, I cannot doubt of it, the deepest engagements and the
greatest favours are not more certain proofs than those I have had. In
the meantime, I am treated with the same rigour as if I were hated; I
hoped something from time, but I have no reason to expect it any
longer; I see her always equally on her guard against me and against
herself; if I were not loved, I should make it my business to please;
but I do please; she loves me, and tries to hide it from me. What have
I then to hope, and what change am I to expect in my fortune? though I
am loved by the most amiable person in the world, I am under that
excess of passion which proceeds from the first certainty of being
loved by her, only to make me more sensible of being ill used; let me
see that you love me, fair Princess," cried he, "make me acquainted
with your sentiments; provided I know them once in my life from you, I
am content that you resume for ever the cruelties with which you
oppress me; look upon me at least with the same eyes with which I saw
you look that night upon my picture; could you behold that with such
sweet complacency, and yet avoid me with so much cruelty? What are you
afraid of? Why does my love appear so terrible to you? You love me,
and you endeavour in vain to conceal it; you have even given me
involuntary proofs of it; I know my happiness, permit me to enjoy it,
and cease to make me unhappy. Is it possible I should be loved by the
Princess of Cleves, and yet be unhappy? how beautiful was she last
night? how could I forbear throwing myself at her feet? If I had done
it, I might perhaps have hindered her from shunning me, my respectful
behaviour would have removed her fears; but perhaps, after all, she did
not know it was I; I afflict myself more than I need; she was only
frightened to see a man at so unseasonable an hour."
These thoughts employed the Duke de Nemours all the day; he wished
impatiently for the night, and as soon as it came he returned to
Colomiers. Monsieur de Cleves's gentleman, who was disguised that he
might be less observed, followed him to the place to which he had
followed him the evening before, and saw him enter the garden again.
The Duke soon perceived that Madam de Cleves had not run the risk of
his making another effort to see her, the doors being all shut; he
looked about on all sides to see if he could discover any light, but he
saw none.