Letters of Two Brides - Page 58/94

"Louis," I went on, as kindly as I could, "it rests entirely with you

whether this marriage of convenience becomes one to which I can give

my whole heart. The favor I am about to ask from you will demand

unselfishness on your part, far nobler than the servitude to which a

man's love, when sincere, is supposed to reduce him. The question is,

Can you rise to the height of friendship such as I understand it?

"Life gives us but one friend, and I wish to be yours. Friendship is

the bond between a pair of kindred souls, united in their strength,

and yet independent. Let us be friends and comrades to bear jointly

the burden of life. Leave me absolutely free. I would put no hindrance

in the way of your inspiring me with a love similar to your own; but I

am determined to be yours only of my own free gift. Create in me the

wish to give up my freedom, and at once I lay it at your feet.

"Infuse with passion, then, if you will, this friendship, and let the

voice of love disturb its calm. On my part I will do what I can to

bring my feelings into accord with yours. One thing, above all, I

would beg of you. Spare me the annoyances to which the strangeness of

our mutual position might give rise to our relations with others. I am

neither whimsical nor prudish, and should be sorry to get that

reputation; but I feel sure that I can trust to your honor when I ask

you to keep up the outward appearance of wedded life."

Never, dear, have I seen a man so happy as my proposal made Louis. The

blaze of joy which kindled in his eyes dried up the tears.

"Do not fancy," I concluded, "that I ask this from any wish to be

eccentric. It is the great desire I have for your respect which

prompts my request. If you owe the crown of your love merely to the

legal and religious ceremony, what gratitude could you feel to me

later for a gift in which my goodwill counted for nothing? If during

the time that I remained indifferent to you (yielding only a passive

obedience, such as my mother has just been urging on me) a child were

born to us, do you suppose that I could feel towards it as I would

towards one born of our common love? A passionate love may not be

necessary in marriage, but, at least, you will admit that there should

be no repugnance.