Little Dorrit - Page 192/462

He walked on, and she did not appear to hear his steps until he was

close upon her. When he said 'Miss Dorrit!' she started and fell back

from him, with an expression in her face of fright and something like

dislike that caused him unutterable dismay. She had often avoided him

before--always, indeed, for a long, long while. She had turned away and

glided off so often when she had seen him coming toward her, that the

unfortunate Young John could not think it accidental. But he had hoped

that it might be shyness, her retiring character, her foreknowledge of

the state of his heart, anything short of aversion. Now, that momentary

look had said, 'You, of all people! I would rather have seen any one on

earth than you!'

It was but a momentary look, inasmuch as she checked it, and said in her

soft little voice, 'Oh, Mr John! Is it you?' But she felt what it had

been, as he felt what it had been; and they stood looking at one another

equally confused. 'Miss Amy, I am afraid I disturbed you by speaking to you.' 'Yes, rather. I--I came here to be alone, and I thought I was.'

'Miss Amy, I took the liberty of walking this way, because Mr Dorrit

chanced to mention, when I called upon him just now, that you--'

She caused him more dismay than before by suddenly murmuring, 'O father,

father!' in a heartrending tone, and turning her face away.

'Miss Amy, I hope I don't give you any uneasiness by naming Mr Dorrit.

I assure you I found him very well and in the best of Spirits, and he

showed me even more than his usual kindness; being so very kind as to

say that I was not a stranger there, and in all ways gratifying me very

much.' To the inexpressible consternation of her lover, Little Dorrit, with her

hands to her averted face, and rocking herself where she stood as if she

were in pain, murmured, 'O father, how can you! O dear, dear father, how

can you, can you, do it!'

The poor fellow stood gazing at her, overflowing with sympathy, but not

knowing what to make of this, until, having taken out her handkerchief

and put it to her still averted face, she hurried away. At first he

remained stock still; then hurried after her.

'Miss Amy, pray! Will you have the goodness to stop a moment? Miss Amy,

if it comes to that, let ME go. I shall go out of my senses, if I have

to think that I have driven you away like this.'