'Upon which you--?' 'I?' said Mr Meagles, with a plain good faith that might have commanded
the belief of Mrs Gowan herself. 'I said, count five-and-twenty,
Tattycoram.' Mr Meagles again stroked his face and shook his head, with an air of
profound regret. 'She was so used to do it, Clennam, that even then, such a picture of
passion as you never saw, she stopped short, looked me full in the face,
and counted (as I made out) to eight. But she couldn't control herself
to go any further.
There she broke down, poor thing, and gave the other
seventeen to the four winds. Then it all burst out. She detested us, she
was miserable with us, she couldn't bear it, she wouldn't bear it, she
was determined to go away. She was younger than her young mistress, and
would she remain to see her always held up as the only creature who was
young and interesting, and to be cherished and loved? No. She wouldn't,
she wouldn't, she wouldn't! What did we think she, Tattycoram, might
have been if she had been caressed and cared for in her childhood, like
her young mistress? As good as her? Ah! Perhaps fifty times as good.
When we pretended to be so fond of one another, we exulted over her;
that was what we did; we exulted over her and shamed her. And all in
the house did the same. They talked about their fathers and mothers, and
brothers and sisters; they liked to drag them up before her face. There
was Mrs Tickit, only yesterday, when her little grandchild was with her,
had been amused by the child's trying to call her (Tattycoram) by the
wretched name we gave her; and had laughed at the name. Why, who didn't;
and who were we that we should have a right to name her like a dog or a
cat?
But she didn't care. She would take no more benefits from us; she
would fling us her name back again, and she would go. She would leave
us that minute, nobody should stop her, and we should never hear of her
again.' Mr Meagles had recited all this with such a vivid remembrance of his
original, that he was almost as flushed and hot by this time as he
described her to have been. 'Ah, well!' he said, wiping his face.
'It was of no use trying reason
then, with that vehement panting creature (Heaven knows what her
mother's story must have been); so I quietly told her that she should
not go at that late hour of night, and I gave her MY hand and took her
to her room, and locked the house doors. But she was gone this morning.'
'And you know no more of her?'