Little Dorrit - Page 419/462

I said I was hurt. So I am. So I--ha--am determined to be, whatever

is advanced to the contrary. I am hurt that my daughter, seated in

the--hum--lap of fortune, should mope and retire and proclaim herself

unequal to her destiny. I am hurt that she should--ha--systematically

reproduce what the rest of us blot out; and seem--hum--I had almost said

positively anxious--to announce to wealthy and distinguished society

that she was born and bred in--ha hum--a place that I myself decline to

name. But there is no inconsistency--ha--not the least, in my feeling

hurt, and yet complaining principally for your sake, Amy. I do; I say

again, I do. It is for your sake that I wish you, under the auspices of

Mrs General, to form a--hum--a surface. It is for your sake that I wish

you to have a--ha--truly refined mind, and (in the striking words of

Mrs General) to be ignorant of everything that is not perfectly proper,

placid, and pleasant.'

He had been running down by jerks, during his last speech, like a

sort of ill-adjusted alarum. The touch was still upon his arm. He fell

silent; and after looking about the ceiling again for a little while,

looked down at her. Her head drooped, and he could not see her face; but

her touch was tender and quiet, and in the expression of her dejected

figure there was no blame--nothing but love. He began to whimper, just

as he had done that night in the prison when she afterwards sat at

his bedside till morning; exclaimed that he was a poor ruin and a poor

wretch in the midst of his wealth; and clasped her in his arms. 'Hush,

hush, my own dear! Kiss me!' was all she said to him. His tears

were soon dried, much sooner than on the former occasion; and he was

presently afterwards very high with his valet, as a way of righting

himself for having shed any.

With one remarkable exception, to be recorded in its place, this was

the only time, in his life of freedom and fortune, when he spoke to his

daughter Amy of the old days.

But, now, the breakfast hour arrived; and with it Miss Fanny from her

apartment, and Mr Edward from his apartment. Both these young persons of

distinction were something the worse for late hours. As to Miss Fanny,

she had become the victim of an insatiate mania for what she called

'going into society;'and would have gone into it head-foremost fifty

times between sunset and sunrise, if so many opportunities had been at

her disposal. As to Mr Edward, he, too, had a large acquaintance, and

was generally engaged (for the most part, in diceing circles, or others

of a kindred nature), during the greater part of every night. For this

gentleman, when his fortunes changed, had stood at the great advantage

of being already prepared for the highest associates, and having little

to learn: so much was he indebted to the happy accidents which had made

him acquainted with horse-dealing and billiard-marking.