I continue on, “Do you know what it felt like to have to dress her Mase? She was f**king helpless. She couldn’t move, couldn’t even lift her head.” I pound my fist on the couch. “After I got her dressed I told her I had to get her out of there. I wanted to take her to the hospital but she wasn’t having it. She begged me to take her home with me.” Angry tears slip from my eyes; I reach up and wipe them away. “I love that f**king girl, Mason. I have for a long time but I denied myself because I didn’t think she had feelings for me.” I wipe more tears away. “Every damn time I see Jaylinn na**d I see him on top of her. I can’t get it out of my head.”
I sit up and pinch the bridge of my nose. I laid it all out for Mason and while it hurts like a son of a bitch to relive that night again I feel a sense of relief. A weight has lifted and I finally feel like the dark cloud is turning into a gloomy sky.
“Damn, Coop.” Mason curses. “No f**king wonder you pushed her away. How the hell have you been dealing with this and not saying anything to anyone?”
I scrub my face with my hands. “I just have. There was no other way until now.”
“Cooper,” Mason says in a commanding tone. “You shouldn’t have kept all that in.” Mason places a hand on my shoulder, offering his support. “You should have come to me a long time ago Cooper. That’s some heavy shit neither of you should have handled on your own.”
“I made a promise. I don’t break them.”
“Like I said, some promises are meant to be broken.”
“Mase, you of all people should know what it’s like to protect the ones you love. Look what you went through last year with Hailey. I was doing what I thought I needed to do.”
Maybe I should have told someone about what happened sooner. Maybe I wouldn’t be stuck in the past. I felt weak though; powerless, consumed by a memory I couldn’t shake.
“How do you feel now?” Mason asks.
“Relieved that I told you,” I admit. “Do you know how many times I’ve wanted to say something?”
“You should have.” Mason looks over towards the TV, lost in thought. “How did you go around campus knowing he was still out there? Did you worry he would come back after her?”
I huff, “Nah, Eli and I took care of it.”
Mason looks back over at me with a raised eyebrow.
I shrug, “He got what he deserved and more. We beat the shit out of him, planted some drugs on him and called the cops. He was expelled from school and we haven’t heard a word from him.”
Mason cracks a smile. “That’s how you handled it. But wait, didn’t Eli ask questions?”
“Nope, apparently he had some paybacks himself for some shit that went down back in high school.”
“So what now?” Mason asks after a few silent minutes.
I shrug, “I don’t know.”
The corner of Mason’s mouth pulls up, “There is no place like home plate, Coop. You need to talk to her; you can’t let her walk away. I promise you that you’ll regret it for the rest of your life if you don’t at least try.”
He’s right, absolutely right. I want that home plate, I just have to figure out how to make it mine without f**king it up again.
Can I move forward and leave the past where it belongs? If I want my heart back then yeah, the past needs to be buried in the past. I just hope it’s not too late.
I say goodnight to Mason and head off to bed. I strip out of my shorts and t-shirt and climb under the cool sheets. I lie on my side and swipe my finger across my iPhone, tapping on the photos and scrolling through the pictures. When I find the one that I want, the one of Jaylinn lying on her back on the beach smiling up at me, I smile too.
I want more of those smiling pictures.
21
Friday night Layla drags me to Fierce. Okay, she didn’t have to drag me but it took a little convincing on her part. I figured I might as well go since I have absolutely nothing else to do.
I arrive a little after ten and head to the bar when I spot Layla behind it. I sit on an empty stool beside Eli, my hands resting on the bar but nervously fidgeting.
“Hey,” Eli leans over and kisses my cheek, making me fidget even more.
“It’s pretty busy tonight, huh?” The club is packed which seems normal for the weekends.
“Yeah it’s been pretty steady ever since we opened.” Eli explains, seeming satisfied with the turn-out.
I look towards all the people dancing, having a good old time. I wish I was as carefree as them.
“Cooper and Mason come home Sunday, right?”
I nod, “Yup. Mason is surprising Hailey at the baby shower.”
“That’s cool. Cooper mentioned something like that now that I think about it.”
At the mention of his name my mood shifts. I get angry. I don’t understand why he can’t get over it.
“Speaking of Cooper, did you figure that curve ball out yet?”
Layla puts a lemon drop in front of me and before I can say thank you, she’s taking care of another customer. Everywhere I look there’s people surrounding us but I feel alone, like no one understands. It’s dim in the bar, like most are, and it fits my mood perfectly, dark and gloomy.
“No, not yet.” I don’t look over at him; instead my eyes are on my drink and the sugar crystals lining the rim of the glass.
This is a weird conversation to be having with Cooper’s friend. Bringing the drink to my lips, the sweetness hits me first, then the sour.
“I can help you with it.” He says, nudging my shoulder with his. My body rocks sideways a little but I catch myself and set my drink down on the bar.
I scoff and stare at the wall where all the bottles of alcohol are lined up. “You can’t do that.” I say quietly but it’s loud enough that he hears me. “That’s breaking code.”
Eli tips his head back and laughs loud, “What do you know about breaking code? Plus who says I’m breaking it? I’m just going to ride the fine line.”
I narrow my eyes, “What are you up to, Eli?”
“Listen and learn, pretty lady.” He turns me to face him, his eyes sparkling with mischief.
Eli and I talk for hours, laughing and scheming. It’s probably wrong that we’re doing this but Eli bet me an entire month of his pay from the club that it will work. One date and a little flirting from Eli will send Cooper into a tailspin.
So we’ve set the plan in motion, now I just need the courage to carry it out.