Paul thought it over for a few minutes, and then said that he would himself write to Roger. 'Hetta, do you know, I doubt whether he will ever speak to me again.'
'I cannot believe that.'
'There is a sternness about him which it is very hard to understand. He has taught himself to think that as I met you in his house, and as he then wished you to be his wife, I should not have ventured to love you. How could I have known?'
'That would be unreasonable.'
'He is unreasonable--about that. It is not reason with him. He always goes by his feelings. Had you been engaged to him--'
'Oh, then, you never could have spoken to me like this.'
'But he will never look at it in that way;--and he will tell me that I have been untrue to him and ungrateful.'
'If you think, Paul--'
'Nay; listen to me. If it be so I must bear it. It will be a great sorrow, but it will be as nothing to that other sorrow, had that come upon me. I will write to him, and his answer will be all scorn and wrath. Then you must write to him afterwards. I think he will forgive you, but he will never forgive me.' Then they parted, she having promised that she would tell her mother directly Lady Carbury came home, and Paul undertaking to write to Roger that evening.
And he did, with infinite difficulty, and much trembling of the spirit. Here is his letter:-MY DEAR ROGER,-I think it right to tell you at once what has occurred to-day. I have proposed to Miss Carbury and she has accepted me. You have long known what my feelings were, and I have also known yours. I have known, too, that Miss Carbury has more than once declined to take your offer. Under these circumstances I cannot think that I have been untrue to friendship in what I have done, or that I have proved myself ungrateful for the affectionate kindness which you have always shown me. I am authorised by Hetta to say that, had I never spoken to her, it must have been the same to you. [This was hardly a fair representation of what had been said, but the writer, looking back upon his interview with the lady, thought that it had been implied.] I should not say so much by way of excusing myself, but that you once said, that should such a thing occur there must be a division between us ever after. If I thought that you would adhere to that threat, I should be very unhappy and Hetta would be miserable. Surely, if a man loves he is bound to tell his love, and to take the chance. You would hardly have thought it manly in me if I had abstained. Dear friend, take a day or two before you answer this, and do not banish us from your heart if you can help it.