So he ate his broth and toast, the doctor curtly declining to join him. He ate hurriedly, closing his eyes in aversion. Even the iced tea was flat and distasteful to him.
And at last he lay back, white and unstrung, the momentarily deadened desperation glimmering under his half-closed eyes. And for a long while Dr. Grisby sat, doubled almost in two, cuddling his bony little knees and studying the patterns in the faded carpet.
"I guess you'd better go, Stephen," he said at length.
"Up the river--to Mulqueen's?"
"Yes. Let's try it, Steve. You'll be on your feet in two weeks. Then you'd better go--up the river--to Mulqueen's."
"I--I'll go, if you say so. But I can't go now."
"I didn't say go now. I said in two weeks."
"Perhaps."
"Will you give me your word?" demanded the doctor sharply.
"No, doctor."
"Why not?"
"Because I may have to be here on business. There seems to be some sort of crisis coming which I don't understand."
"There's a crisis right here, Steve, which I understand!" snapped Dr. Grisby. "Face it like a man! Face it like a man! You're sick--to your bones, boy--sick! sick! Fight the fight, Steve! Fight a good fight. There's a fighting chance; on my soul of honour, there is, Steve, a fighting chance for you! Now! now, boy! Buckle up tight! Tuck up your sword-sleeve! At 'em, Steve! Give 'em hell! Oh, my boy, my boy, I know; I know!" The little man's voice broke, but he steadied it instantly with a snap of his nut-cracker jaws, and scowled on his patient and shook his little withered fist at him.
His patient lay very still in the shadow.
"I want you to go," said the doctor harshly, "before your self-control goes. Do you understand? I want you to go before your decision is undermined; before you begin to do devious things, sly things, cheating things, slinking things--anything and everything to get at the thing you crave. I've given you something to fight with, and you won't take it faithfully. I've given you free rein in tobacco and tea and coffee. I've helped you as much as I dare to weather the nights. Now, you help me--do you hear?"
"Yes … I will."
"You say so; now do it. Do something for yourself. Do anything! If you're sick of reading--and I don't blame you, considering the stuff you read--get people down here to see you; get lots of people. Telephone 'em; you've a telephone there, haven't you? There it is, by your elbow. Use it! Call up people. Talk all the time."
"Yes, I will."
"Good! Now, Steve, we know what's the matter, physically, don't we? Of course we do! Now, then, what's the matter mentally?"