“I know what I did to you was wrong. I just feel like…I need to make it up to you somehow.”
“That’s just guilt talking. I know I said some things that have probably stuck with you all this time, if you have a heart at all. You can forget all that, it was just my own anger and pain and frustration talking, wanting to hurt you like you’d hurt me. The problem was, I couldn’t do it, because you simply didn’t care. If we got back together you know as well as I the same thing would just happen again.”
“I wouldn’t—”
“I would never be able to make myself believe whatever you’re about to say. There was a time when I was pathetic and weak and desperate and I might’ve given us another chance, but no more. No more. I’m going to walk out the door, find Evan and try to be worthy of him. I’m afraid it’s too late, but at least I don’t have your shadow hanging over me anymore.”
His throat constricted as he swallowed, and it seemed to pain him. Her natural wifely instinct was to move toward him, try to make him more comfortable, ask if he needed anything. But she stood her ground. He was fine. She had to keep telling herself that. He would be fine, she would be fine, everything would be fine.
For a moment she thought he wasn’t going to reply, but when he did, it momentarily stunned her. “He’s a good guy.”
She nodded. “He’s the best of us all. He was at his office on his vacation just to be sure the motion to revoke gets filed as soon as possible on the guy who hit you.”
Todd swallowed again, and she wondered if that glistening in his eye might’ve actually been a tear. God forbid he showed any emotion. “I miss him. Wish I could see him. Will you…tell him I’m sorry? And thank him for everything he’s done?”
Her heart softened. He sounded more genuine talking about Evan than he ever had talking about her. “Of course I will. But I don’t know if it’ll do any good.”
“I know. Courtney and I…we’re not together anymore, you know. She’s here and she’s hardly left my side, but…I don’t know.”
“I imagine you’ll work it out. You should, anyway. You seem well suited for one another. She loves you, but I think you two can’t really see one another without your guilt getting in the way. You need to get rid of it.”
Todd’s jaw flexed in a smile. She could tell from his drooping eyelids he was getting sleepy. Probably pain meds kicking in. “I’ll work on it.”
“Good.” She adjusted her purse strap on her shoulder. “I should get going. I wish you the best in everything, Todd.”
“You, too. Kelsey? You look beautiful.”
She gaped for a moment. For all his praise in the beginning of their relationship, she’d hardly heard those words throughout their marriage. “You did take quite a hit on the head, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, I think it knocked some sense into me.”
She laughed, moving toward the door. “Well, let’s hope that’s the case.”
And as luck would have it—her luck lately, at least—she came face-to-face with Courtney in the hall outside the elevator. She almost had to chuckle at the way Courtney’s eyes rounded and her body seemed to go on full alert, as if anticipating a physical attack. The Styrofoam coffee cup in her hand shook visibly.
A few months ago, she might’ve had cause to worry. For the first time since finding the other woman in bed with her husband, Kelsey offered her a big smile. She swept her arm in the direction of Todd’s hospital room.
“He’s all yours.”
Chapter Eleven
Evan burst through his office door like a whirlwind, tossing down his briefcase and shedding the jacket that was stifling him. It took every ounce of self-control he could muster not to slam the door behind him, but that might incite a parade of staff members asking if everything was all right. They were a close-knit bunch, sometimes too much so. He’d already been an ass to his assistant this morning, prompting her to ask him if he needed another week off. He only wanted to start the previous one over…the good parts, at least.
Finally in the silence and solitude of his office, he took a breath and stared at the bleak scene beyond his tall, narrow second-floor windows. Rain drooled down the glass, and the sky was leaden and dismally gray. Matched his thoughts perfectly. It was one of those days he’d told Kelsey about, when it had taken everything he had to walk into that courtroom.
Today was shaping up to be a nightmare, and he didn’t know if the judge was really riding his ass that hard or if it was just that he was ready to snap. Or if it was that Kelsey had been sitting across the room, the weight of her gaze following his every move.
Normally her court attire was conservative and demure and, while nothing she was wearing today was revealing at all, something about the way her black skirt clung to her ass had his blood boiling. Whenever she walked up to the court clerk, he wanted to jump up and thrash every bastard in the room for daring to watch her.
But how could he blame them? Her skirt, her pumps accentuating every muscle in her calves, her hair cascading in gorgeous spirals down her back… A man would’ve been out of his mind not to look. And he could swear the bewitching glow of a woman well f**ked still lingered in her face. She looked amazing while he had hardly slept for two days and it showed. The judge had probably taken one look at the dark smudges under his eyes and concluded he’d been on a bender all weekend. This wasn’t how his fantasy was supposed to play out, not at all.
He’d wanted to call her. The thought of her at the hospital, sitting at Todd’s bedside holding his hand had stopped him dead. That man had already made a fool of him once, he’d be damned before he’d willingly go and let him do it again.
His desk phone gave a shrill chirp, slicing through the tumult of his thoughts. He should’ve told Delilah to hold his calls. Court didn’t resume for another two hours and he needed them to recuperate. He was off his game. Dammit, he was never off his game.
Dropping heavily into his chair, he stabbed the intercom button. “Yeah.”
“Kelsey’s here to see you.”
Fuck. The last thing he needed was her in here spewing apologies or excuses or whatever she had in mind. He crammed the heels of his hands into his eyes, fighting the urge to growl out loud.
“Evan?”
“Send her in.”
He sounds horrible.
Kelsey watched as Delilah frowned down at the phone on her desk. “I really don’t know what’s gotten into him today. After a week in Hawaii, you’d think he’d have mellowed out.”
“Withdrawals, maybe,” Kelsey said, striving for cheerfulness. “I mean, you get a week on the beach and then you have to come back to this place on a rainy Monday? That would give anyone the blahs.”
Delilah nodded and laughed, then leaned forward conspiratorially, speaking in hushed tones. “Hey, you would know. Who did he go with? We’ve decided it was a woman because he never would say.”
God, she should have suspected the tongues were wagging. Delilah’s, especially. She was the gossip of the courthouse, on top of all the scandals. Kelsey feigned innocence, cocking her head to one side as if contemplating the matter. Hopefully none of the DA’s staff knew Kelsey had been off last week, too, or they might put two and two together. But did she really care anymore? “Hmm, must be really top secret.”