“I’m not. But I need to go right now. I’ve got stuff to do.”
“Can we talk later?”
“What is there to talk about? There’s nothing left to say that we haven’t both already said a thousand times. You told me you were sorry. I told you I’ve forgiven you and I meant it. So if it’s guilt you feel, don’t beat yourself up. It happened. It’s over and done with.”
He’d forgiven her, sure. Forgiven her simply because he didn’t give a damn anymore.
“Evan…I can’t forgive myself.” Her voice was quivering, barely discernible over the music from Brian’s room. He covered his free ear with one hand.
“Then that’s something you need to work on. I can’t help you there.”
“Tomorrow was supposed to be our wedding day. Remember?”
He nearly choked. Of course, he remembered. How could he forget how close he’d come to making the biggest mistake of his life? “Yes. Why are you bringing all this up?”
“I don’t know. But sometimes I wish things were the way they used to be, and that I was still marrying you tomorrow. I messed up so bad. I know I need to make some changes.” Her soft weeping had dampened, but he could hear it starting up again. “I’m so sorry I did this to us.”
“You know who really deserves your apology? The one person who never got one. Kelsey.”
“I…I can’t talk to her. There’s no way I could face her.”
“And she might very well not want to face you. But it’s something you should think about, on this path to betterment you’re talking about. Now I mean it, I have to go.”
She finally hung up, and he breathed a huge sigh of relief. Damn girl was depressing the hell out of him. And to think she wanted to come over tonight and drive the knife deeper. Remind him of all the ugliness. Perish the thought.
Of course, in her own way Kelsey would serve as a reminder of everything that happened. Her quiet heartbreak was palpable. But the strength behind it was a freaking inspiration to him. She hadn’t backed down, she hadn’t run back home even though her parents lived two states away. He loved to see that quality in someone, be it his dear friend or the people he stood up for in court.
He rushed through food prep so he could grab a quick shower before she arrived, since he was probably redolent with the lingering odor of huge, slobbering dog. It didn’t surprise him how excited he was to see her; he always was. But now there was just a hint of scandal and possibility there that had his heartbeat ratcheting up a notch. It might be wrong, but it was undeniable.
They’d never lost touch throughout the years and her disastrous marriage, but they’d lost the closeness they once shared. He looked forward to gaining it back now without jealous significant others questioning their every conversation.
Even if Todd had come to realize what a jackass he’d been, he didn’t deserve Kelsey after what he’d done to her. He hoped she realized that.
A vigorous shower later Evan headed back outside to fire up his grill beside the glowing kidney-shaped pool. It was a gorgeous night, still and musical with the sound of crickets. He lived far enough from the lights of town that every visible star winked from the expanse of velvety black sky unfurled above, but the late July humidity hung in the air like a sopping wet blanket. He was going around lighting the tiki torches when Brian stuck his head out the sliding glass door. “She’s pulling up.”
“And you’re still here.” Evan swept past him on his way into the kitchen.
“Lay off, man. I’m going over to Michelle’s. I just got her on her cell and she won’t be home for another half hour or so.”
Evan swept a glance around the kitchen, rubbing palms that had become strangely damp on his jeans. Thank God Friday was the day his housekeeper came by. Everything was clean. Not that he ever let it get dirty. “That girl hasn’t come to her senses yet?”
Brian perched on a barstool. “You’d better hope she doesn’t. Where else would I go?”
“Good point.” Satisfied that everything was presentable, Evan headed into the living room just as the doorbell rang. Reaching for the knob, he blew out a breath and pulled the door open.
Kelsey stood framed by the buttery glow of his porch light, smiling at him, looking delicious in denim shorts and a little pink top with spaghetti straps. Her dark hair—naturally curly, he knew—fell in a straight cascade from her white headband. “Hey,” he drawled with a grin, holding his arms open.
She flew across the threshold to hug him, and God, she was so insubstantial in his arms. The tremor that went through her as he pressed her against him couldn’t have been his imagination. Her familiar scent flooded his nostrils—she always smelled like cool spring breezes, like honeysuckle. Clean and sweet.
“I missed you,” she said softly and, though the top of her head only reached his chin, he heard that voice as if it had whispered in his ear.
This was right. This was how they should be. He vowed in that moment to never let anyone come between them again.
“I missed you, too,” he murmured, and when he finally went to release her, he realized he’d picked her up off her feet. He eased her down, staring into her gray eyes as if he hadn’t seen them in years. It felt that way, for some reason. The trembling smile she was wearing for him didn’t seem to reach the melancholy in her gaze. That sadness wasn’t as pronounced as it had been at her divorce hearing almost two months ago—that had nearly torn his heart out—but it was still there.
As he shut the door she stepped back, looking him up and down. “You look great.”
“Not as great as you.” He put an arm around her shoulders and walked her through his living room toward the kitchen. Brian looked up and grinned as they entered.
“What’s up, K?”
“Brian!”
“Don’t worry, Evan’s giving me the boot. I’ll be gone in a few.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re here now, because I have something to ask you.”
Evan looked down at Kelsey in surprise as she left his side and walked over to his brother, who’d raised one dark, pierced brow in inquiry. And Evan could only see her from the back, but surely she wasn’t doing what it looked like—which was raising her shirt up just an inch or two in front of Brian. “Does this thing look okay? It was doing fine, but now it’s a little red and it bothers me. I’m afraid it’s getting infected or something.”
What the hell?
Brian, suddenly in his element, leaned down to examine what looked like the area around Kelsey’s navel. “Nah. It’s fine, just keep up your routine. It can take months to heal and it’ll be a little red until it does.”
Dumbfounded, Evan stepped around to see for himself. She’d gotten her bellybutton pierced, a silver barbell with a little butterfly on it. It was hot as hellfire. “When did you do that?” he asked.
She grinned at him. “The night my divorce was final. Brian did it for me.”
Evan slapped the top of Brian’s head. “You didn’t tell me.”
“Because I respect my clients’ confidentiality. I do what they tell me. Who they show it to is their prerogative. Ass.”