And You Will Find Love - Page 131/287

It began to make sense to her. She would not have enough capital left to recover from a tragedy such as the airport fire. Ken Knowland had encouraged her investment in Hat Farm knowing that if anything happened to her airport, she could not sell Hat Farm because it was worthless. She probably couldn't even borrow against it. She would be broke and could not rebuild, so she would no longer be competition for him.

Barbara could hardly believe Ken Knowland could be so mean. The only person whom she thought could be meaner was whoever started the fires. She tried not to believe it had been the man she thought she loved.

And someone had set a fire that destroyed Moose's lumberyard. Had Chet set both fires, to get back at them both? To punish her for not giving herself to him, and Moose for humiliating him? She had been unable to think the worst of Ken Knowland, but she did not think Chet was incapable of such revenge.

The only good thing that came out of the disaster was a change of address. Edna suggested she move in with her and Buck at their ranch, and Barbara accepted gladly. She needed the reassurance and love of family, and the Gendas were as close to it as she felt in a long time. Besides, she had grown tired of hearing Ma Phelps tell about her latest Bund meeting, and urging her to join the German organization.

Barbara had not acted soon enough to get insurance, so she got no helpful check from anyone to rebuild. When she phoned Gail, her friend offered to ask her father for a loan for her, but Barbara held fast. She didn't want to be obligated to anyone.

What hurt perhaps more than anything, Ken had not offered to help her, with a loan or in any other way. After how intimate they had been together only a few days before, he merely called to briefly say, "I'm sorry about your misfortune." He hadn't sounded cold and insincere, but as if he had to say at least that much. He didn't send flowers, as he had to celebrate her good times, nor did he ask her out, to console her.

The hypocrite! He isn't sorry at all! She felt used by him. Some men need women the way Buck jokingly said women need talk; it's their "mother's milk." And some men, she thought bitterly, use sex as a weapon to their advantage in business or other power struggles. Like using it to sell a trusting woman some worthless desert property. But why had Ken encouraged her to take out insurance on the airport? She decided it had been to make her feel he had her best interests in mind; even knowing she was too overworked to look into insurance right away.