And You Will Find Love - Page 239/287

In the movie, Waterloo Bridge, Vivien Leigh and Robert Taylor met and fell in love there during the First World War. But circumstances prevented them from marrying, though not the same that were keeping Barbara and Stephen apart.

Barbara hoped her love for Stephen would not end as tragically as in the movie, but felt drawn to be on the bridge with him.

"I saw the movie, too," he told her while they walked hand-in-hand past Trafalgar Square, not saying more, but she knowing he understood why she wanted to go to the bridge. After passing Admiral Nelson's Column, then walking up the Victoria Embankment, they entered onto the bridge over the River Thames.

The night was, as always in the movie, foggy. Barbara stopped Stephen and asked him again, "Hold me? Just hold me?"

Being held in his loving arms was, to her, almost enough.

She could not have him physically, or told herself she should not want to have him then, any more than that.

At times during the concert, she had imagined herself in his wife's place, thinking how she would feel if she and Stephen were married, if she became ill, and he was in another woman's arms. But afterward, on Waterloo Bridge, she had to have at least that. Especially since he was to leave her before the hour was up and go back to the war. She would not allow herself to think he might not come back from it.

As Big Ben began to strike twelve, Stephen held her extra close. With a gentle hand, he raised her chin, then pressed his lips against hers.

She did not refuse his kiss. He had wanted it as their farewell. She would not deny him that much of her. And she would allow herself at least that much of him.