The Kama Sutra - Page 60/585

A poor man possessed of good qualities, a man born of a low family

possessed of mediocre qualities, a neighbour possessed of wealth, and

one under the control of his father, mother or brothers, should not

marry without endeavouring to gain over the girl from her childhood to

love and esteem them. Thus a boy separated from his parents, and living

in the house of his uncle, should try to gain over the daughter of his

uncle, or some other girl, even though she be previously betrothed to

another. And this way of gaining over a girl, says Ghotakamukha, is

unexceptional, because Dharma can be accomplished by means of it, as

well as by any other way of marriage.

When a boy has thus begun to woo the girl he loves, he should spend his

time with her and amuse her with various games and diversions fitted for

their age and acquaintanceship, such as picking and collecting flowers,

making garlands of flowers, playing the parts of members of a fictitious

family, cooking food, playing with dice, playing with cards, the game of

odd and even, the game of finding out the middle finger, the game of six

pebbles, and such other games as may be prevalent in the country, and

agreeable to the disposition of the girl. In addition to this, he should

carry on various amusing games played by several persons together, such

as hide and seek, playing with seeds, hiding things in several small

heaps of wheat and looking for them, blind-man's buff, gymnastic

exercises, and other games of the same sort, in company with the girl,

her friends and female attendants. The man should also show great

kindness to any woman whom the girl thinks fit to be trusted, and should

also make new acquaintances, but above all he should attach to himself

by kindness and little services the daughter of the girl's nurse, for

if she be gained over, even though she comes to know of his design, she

does not cause any obstruction, but is sometimes even able to effect an

union between him and the girl. And though she knows the true character

of the man, she always talks of his many excellent qualities to the

parents and relations of the girl, even though she may not be desired to

do so by him.

In this way the man should do whatever the girl takes most delight in,

and he should get for her whatever she may have a desire to possess.

Thus he should procure for her such playthings as may be hardly known to

other girls. He may also show her a ball dyed with various colours, and

other curiosities of the same sort; and should give her dolls made of

cloth, wood, buffalo-horn, ivory, wax, flour, or earth; also utensils

for cooking food, and figures in wood, such as a man and woman standing,

a pair of rams, or goats, or sheep; also temples made of earth, bamboo,

or wood, dedicated to various goddesses; and cages for parrots, cuckoos,

starlings, quails, cocks, and partridges; water-vessels of different

sorts and of elegant forms, machines for throwing water about, guitars,

stands for putting images upon, stools, lac, red arsenic, yellow

ointment, vermilion and collyrium, as well as sandal-wood, saffron,

betel nut and betel leaves. Such things should be given at different

times whenever he gets a good opportunity of meeting her, and some of

them should be given in private, and some in public, according to

circumstances. In short, he should try in every way to make her look

upon him as one who would do for her everything that she wanted to be

done.