Pygmalion - Page 14/72

HIGGINS [as he shuts the last drawer] Well, I think that's the whole

show.

PICKERING. It's really amazing. I haven't taken half of it in, you know.

HIGGINS. Would you like to go over any of it again?

PICKERING [rising and coming to the fireplace, where he plants himself

with his back to the fire] No, thank you; not now. I'm quite done up

for this morning.

HIGGINS [following him, and standing beside him on his left] Tired of

listening to sounds?

PICKERING. Yes. It's a fearful strain. I rather fancied myself because

I can pronounce twenty-four distinct vowel sounds; but your hundred and

thirty beat me. I can't hear a bit of difference between most of them.

HIGGINS [chuckling, and going over to the piano to eat sweets] Oh, that

comes with practice. You hear no difference at first; but you keep on

listening, and presently you find they're all as different as A from B.

[Mrs. Pearce looks in: she is Higgins's housekeeper] What's the matter?

MRS. PEARCE [hesitating, evidently perplexed] A young woman wants to

see you, sir.

HIGGINS. A young woman! What does she want?

MRS. PEARCE. Well, sir, she says you'll be glad to see her when you

know what she's come about. She's quite a common girl, sir. Very common

indeed. I should have sent her away, only I thought perhaps you wanted

her to talk into your machines. I hope I've not done wrong; but really

you see such queer people sometimes--you'll excuse me, I'm sure, sir--

HIGGINS. Oh, that's all right, Mrs. Pearce. Has she an interesting

accent?

MRS. PEARCE. Oh, something dreadful, sir, really. I don't know how you

can take an interest in it.

HIGGINS [to Pickering] Let's have her up. Show her up, Mrs. Pearce [he

rushes across to his working table and picks out a cylinder to use on

the phonograph].

MRS. PEARCE [only half resigned to it] Very well, sir. It's for you to

say. [She goes downstairs].

HIGGINS. This is rather a bit of luck. I'll show you how I make

records. We'll set her talking; and I'll take it down first in Bell's

visible Speech; then in broad Romic; and then we'll get her on the

phonograph so that you can turn her on as often as you like with the

written transcript before you.

MRS. PEARCE [returning] This is the young woman, sir.

The flower girl enters in state. She has a hat with three ostrich

feathers, orange, sky-blue, and red. She has a nearly clean apron, and

the shoddy coat has been tidied a little. The pathos of this deplorable

figure, with its innocent vanity and consequential air, touches

Pickering, who has already straightened himself in the presence of Mrs.

Pearce. But as to Higgins, the only distinction he makes between men

and women is that when he is neither bullying nor exclaiming to the

heavens against some featherweight cross, he coaxes women as a child

coaxes its nurse when it wants to get anything out of her.