Pygmalion - Page 24/72

Mrs. Pearce returns.

MRS. PEARCE. If you please, sir, the trouble's beginning already.

There's a dustman downstairs, Alfred Doolittle, wants to see you. He

says you have his daughter here.

PICKERING [rising] Phew! I say! [He retreats to the hearthrug].

HIGGINS [promptly] Send the blackguard up.

MRS. PEARCE. Oh, very well, sir. [She goes out].

PICKERING. He may not be a blackguard, Higgins.

HIGGINS. Nonsense. Of course he's a blackguard.

PICKERING. Whether he is or not, I'm afraid we shall have some trouble

with him.

HIGGINS [confidently] Oh no: I think not. If there's any trouble he

shall have it with me, not I with him. And we are sure to get something

interesting out of him.

PICKERING. About the girl?

HIGGINS. No. I mean his dialect.

PICKERING. Oh!

MRS. PEARCE [at the door] Doolittle, sir. [She admits Doolittle and

retires].

Alfred Doolittle is an elderly but vigorous dustman, clad in the

costume of his profession, including a hat with a back brim covering

his neck and shoulders. He has well marked and rather interesting

features, and seems equally free from fear and conscience. He has a

remarkably expressive voice, the result of a habit of giving vent to

his feelings without reserve. His present pose is that of wounded honor

and stern resolution.

DOOLITTLE [at the door, uncertain which of the two gentlemen is his

man] Professor Higgins?

HIGGINS. Here. Good morning. Sit down.

DOOLITTLE. Morning, Governor. [He sits down magisterially] I come about

a very serious matter, Governor.

HIGGINS [to Pickering] Brought up in Hounslow. Mother Welsh, I should

think. [Doolittle opens his mouth, amazed. Higgins continues] What do

you want, Doolittle?

DOOLITTLE [menacingly] I want my daughter: that's what I want. See?

HIGGINS. Of course you do. You're her father, aren't you? You don't

suppose anyone else wants her, do you? I'm glad to see you have some

spark of family feeling left. She's upstairs. Take her away at once.

DOOLITTLE [rising, fearfully taken aback] What!

HIGGINS. Take her away. Do you suppose I'm going to keep your daughter

for you?

DOOLITTLE [remonstrating] Now, now, look here, Governor. Is this

reasonable? Is it fair to take advantage of a man like this? The girl

belongs to me. You got her. Where do I come in? [He sits down again].

HIGGINS. Your daughter had the audacity to come to my house and ask me

to teach her how to speak properly so that she could get a place in a

flower-shop. This gentleman and my housekeeper have been here all the

time. [Bullying him] How dare you come here and attempt to blackmail

me? You sent her here on purpose.