HIGGINS [furious] Is she, by George? Ho!
MRS. HIGGINS. If you promise to behave yourself, Henry, I'll ask her to
come down. If not, go home; for you have taken up quite enough of my
time.
HIGGINS. Oh, all right. Very well. Pick: you behave yourself. Let us
put on our best Sunday manners for this creature that we picked out of
the mud. [He flings himself sulkily into the Elizabethan chair].
DOOLITTLE [remonstrating] Now, now, Henry Higgins! have some
consideration for my feelings as a middle class man.
MRS. HIGGINS. Remember your promise, Henry. [She presses the
bell-button on the writing-table]. Mr. Doolittle: will you be so good
as to step out on the balcony for a moment. I don't want Eliza to have
the shock of your news until she has made it up with these two
gentlemen. Would you mind?
DOOLITTLE. As you wish, lady. Anything to help Henry to keep her off my
hands. [He disappears through the window].
The parlor-maid answers the bell. Pickering sits down in Doolittle's
place.
MRS. HIGGINS. Ask Miss Doolittle to come down, please.
THE PARLOR-MAID. Yes, mam. [She goes out].
MRS. HIGGINS. Now, Henry: be good.
HIGGINS. I am behaving myself perfectly.
PICKERING. He is doing his best, Mrs. Higgins.
A pause. Higgins throws back his head; stretches out his legs; and
begins to whistle.
MRS. HIGGINS. Henry, dearest, you don't look at all nice in that
attitude.
HIGGINS [pulling himself together] I was not trying to look nice,
mother.
MRS. HIGGINS. It doesn't matter, dear. I only wanted to make you speak.
HIGGINS. Why?
MRS. HIGGINS. Because you can't speak and whistle at the same time.
Higgins groans. Another very trying pause.
HIGGINS [springing up, out of patience] Where the devil is that girl?
Are we to wait here all day?
Eliza enters, sunny, self-possessed, and giving a staggeringly
convincing exhibition of ease of manner. She carries a little
work-basket, and is very much at home. Pickering is too much taken
aback to rise.
LIZA. How do you do, Professor Higgins? Are you quite well?
HIGGINS [choking] Am I-- [He can say no more].
LIZA. But of course you are: you are never ill. So glad to see you
again, Colonel Pickering. [He rises hastily; and they shake hands].
Quite chilly this morning, isn't it? [She sits down on his left. He
sits beside her].
HIGGINS. Don't you dare try this game on me. I taught it to you; and it
doesn't take me in. Get up and come home; and don't be a fool.
Eliza takes a piece of needlework from her basket, and begins to stitch
at it, without taking the least notice of this outburst.