The Forsyte Saga - Volume 3 - Page 180/204

"What am I to do if you won't, Father?" she said very softly.

"I'll do anything for your happiness," said Soanies; "but this isn't for

your happiness."

"Oh! it is; it is!"

"It'll only stir things up," he said grimly.

"But they are stirred up. The thing is to quiet them. To make her feel

that this is just our lives, and has nothing to do with yours or hers.

You can do it, Father, I know you can."

"You know a great deal, then," was Soames' glum answer.

"If you will, Jon and I will wait a year--two years if you like."

"It seems to me," murmured Soames, "that you care nothing about what I

feel."

Fleur pressed his hand against her cheek.

"I do, darling. But you wouldn't like me to be awfully miserable."

How she wheedled to get her ends! And trying with all his might to think

she really cared for him--he was not sure--not sure. All she cared for

was this boy! Why should he help her to get this boy, who was killing

her affection for himself? Why should he? By the laws of the Forsytes it

was foolish! There was nothing to be had out of it--nothing! To give her

to that boy! To pass her into the enemy's camp, under the influence of

the woman who had injured him so deeply! Slowly--inevitably--he would

lose this flower of his life! And suddenly he was conscious that his

hand was wet. His heart gave a little painful jump. He couldn't bear her

to cry. He put his other hand quickly over hers, and a tear dropped on

that, too. He couldn't go on like this! "Well, well," he said, "I'll

think it over, and do what I can. Come, come!" If she must have it for

her happiness--she must; he couldn't refuse to help her. And lest she

should begin to thank him he got out of his chair and went up to the

piano-player--making that noise! It ran down, as he reached it, with

a faint buzz. That musical box of his nursery days: "The Harmonious

Blacksmith," "Glorious Port"--the thing had always made him miserable

when his mother set it going on Sunday afternoons. Here it was

again--the same thing, only larger, more expensive, and now it played

"The Wild, Wild Women," and "The Policeman's Holiday," and he was no

longer in black velvet with a sky blue collar. 'Profond's right,' he

thought, 'there's nothing in it! We're all progressing to the grave!'

And with that surprising mental comment he walked out.

He did not see Fleur again that night. But, at breakfast, her eyes

followed him about with an appeal he could not escape--not that he

intended to try. No! He had made up his mind to the nerve-racking

business. He would go to Robin Hill--to that house of memories. Pleasant

memory--the last! Of going down to keep that boy's father and Irene

apart by threatening divorce. He had often thought, since, that it had

clinched their union. And, now, he was going to clinch the union of that

boy with his girl. 'I don't know what I've done,' he thought, 'to have

such things thrust on me!' He went up by train and down by train, and

from the station walked by the long rising lane, still very much as he

remembered it over thirty years ago. Funny--so near London! Some one

evidently was holding on to the land there. This speculation soothed

him, moving between the high hedges slowly, so as not to get overheated,

though the day was chill enough. After all was said and done there was

something real about land, it didn't shift. Land, and good pictures! The

values might fluctuate a bit, but on the whole they were always going

up--worth holding on to, in a world where there was such a lot of

unreality, cheap building, changing fashions, such a "Here to-day and

gone to-morrow" spirit. The French were right, perhaps, with their

peasant proprietorship, though he had no opinion of the French. One's

bit of land! Something solid in it! He had heard peasant proprietors

described as a pig-headed lot; had heard young Mont call his father a

pigheaded Morning Poster--disrespectful young devil. Well, there were

worse things than being pig-headed or reading the Morning Post. There

was Profond and his tribe, and all these Labour chaps, and loud-mouthed

politicians and 'wild, wild women'! A lot of worse things! And suddenly

Soames became conscious of feeling weak, and hot, and shaky. Sheer

nerves at the meeting before him! As Aunt Juley might have said--quoting

"Superior Dosset"--his nerves were "in a proper fautigue." He could see

the house now among its trees, the house he had watched being built,

intending it for himself and this woman, who, by such strange fate,

had lived in it with another after all! He began to think of Dumetrius,

Local Loans, and other forms of investment. He could not afford to meet

her with his nerves all shaking; he who represented the Day of Judgment

for her on earth as it was in heaven; he, legal ownership, personified,

meeting lawless beauty, incarnate. His dignity demanded impassivity

during this embassy designed to link their offspring, who, if she had

behaved herself, would have been brother and sister. That wretched tune,

"The Wild, Wild Women," kept running in his head, perversely, for tunes

did not run there as a rule. Passing the poplars in front of the house,

he thought: 'How they've grown; I had them planted!' A maid answered his

ring.