The Awakening and Selected Short Stories - Page 84/161

"Will you go to the races again?" he asked.

"No," she said. "I've had enough of the races. I don't want to lose all

the money I've won, and I've got to work when the weather is bright,

instead of--"

"Yes; work; to be sure. You promised to show me your work. What morning

may I come up to your atelier? To-morrow?"

"No!"

"Day after?"

"No, no."

"Oh, please don't refuse me! I know something of such things. I might

help you with a stray suggestion or two."

"No. Good night. Why don't you go after you have said good night? I

don't like you," she went on in a high, excited pitch, attempting

to draw away her hand. She felt that her words lacked dignity and

sincerity, and she knew that he felt it.

"I'm sorry you don't like me. I'm sorry I offended you. How have I

offended you? What have I done? Can't you forgive me?" And he bent and

pressed his lips upon her hand as if he wished never more to withdraw

them.

"Mr. Arobin," she complained, "I'm greatly upset by the excitement of

the afternoon; I'm not myself. My manner must have misled you in some

way. I wish you to go, please." She spoke in a monotonous, dull tone.

He took his hat from the table, and stood with eyes turned from her,

looking into the dying fire. For a moment or two he kept an impressive

silence.

"Your manner has not misled me, Mrs. Pontellier," he said finally. "My

own emotions have done that. I couldn't help it. When I'm near you, how

could I help it? Don't think anything of it, don't bother, please. You

see, I go when you command me. If you wish me to stay away, I shall do

so. If you let me come back, I--oh! you will let me come back?"

He cast one appealing glance at her, to which she made no response.

Alcee Arobin's manner was so genuine that it often deceived even

himself.

Edna did not care or think whether it were genuine or not. When she

was alone she looked mechanically at the back of her hand which he had

kissed so warmly. Then she leaned her head down on the mantelpiece. She

felt somewhat like a woman who in a moment of passion is betrayed into

an act of infidelity, and realizes the significance of the act without

being wholly awakened from its glamour. The thought was passing vaguely

through her mind, "What would he think?"

She did not mean her husband; she was thinking of Robert Lebrun. Her

husband seemed to her now like a person whom she had married without

love as an excuse.