Middlemarch - Page 190/561

"I suppose you have asked your father for the rest of the money and he

has refused you."

"No," said Fred, biting his lip, and speaking with more difficulty;

"but I know it will be of no use to ask him; and unless it were of use,

I should not like to mention Mr. Garth's name in the matter."

"It has come at an unfortunate time," said Caleb, in his hesitating

way, looking down at the notes and nervously fingering the paper,

"Christmas upon us--I'm rather hard up just now. You see, I have to

cut out everything like a tailor with short measure. What can we do,

Susan? I shall want every farthing we have in the bank. It's a

hundred and ten pounds, the deuce take it!"

"I must give you the ninety-two pounds that I have put by for Alfred's

premium," said Mrs. Garth, gravely and decisively, though a nice ear

might have discerned a slight tremor in some of the words. "And I have

no doubt that Mary has twenty pounds saved from her salary by this

time. She will advance it."

Mrs. Garth had not again looked at Fred, and was not in the least

calculating what words she should use to cut him the most effectively.

Like the eccentric woman she was, she was at present absorbed in

considering what was to be done, and did not fancy that the end could

be better achieved by bitter remarks or explosions. But she had made

Fred feel for the first time something like the tooth of remorse.

Curiously enough, his pain in the affair beforehand had consisted

almost entirely in the sense that he must seem dishonorable, and sink

in the opinion of the Garths: he had not occupied himself with the

inconvenience and possible injury that his breach might occasion them,

for this exercise of the imagination on other people's needs is not

common with hopeful young gentlemen. Indeed we are most of us brought

up in the notion that the highest motive for not doing a wrong is

something irrespective of the beings who would suffer the wrong. But

at this moment he suddenly saw himself as a pitiful rascal who was

robbing two women of their savings.

"I shall certainly pay it all, Mrs. Garth--ultimately," he stammered

out.

"Yes, ultimately," said Mrs. Garth, who having a special dislike to

fine words on ugly occasions, could not now repress an epigram. "But

boys cannot well be apprenticed ultimately: they should be apprenticed

at fifteen." She had never been so little inclined to make excuses for

Fred.

"I was the most in the wrong, Susan," said Caleb. "Fred made sure of

finding the money. But I'd no business to be fingering bills. I

suppose you have looked all round and tried all honest means?" he

added, fixing his merciful gray eyes on Fred. Caleb was too delicate,

to specify Mr. Featherstone.