Middlemarch - Page 233/561

Miss Vincy was alone, and blushed so deeply when Lydgate came in that

he felt a corresponding embarrassment, and instead of any playfulness,

he began at once to speak of his reason for calling, and to beg her,

almost formally, to deliver the message to her father. Rosamond, who

at the first moment felt as if her happiness were returning, was keenly

hurt by Lydgate's manner; her blush had departed, and she assented

coldly, without adding an unnecessary word, some trivial chain-work

which she had in her hands enabling her to avoid looking at Lydgate

higher than his chin. In all failures, the beginning is certainly the

half of the whole. After sitting two long moments while he moved his

whip and could say nothing, Lydgate rose to go, and Rosamond, made

nervous by her struggle between mortification and the wish not to

betray it, dropped her chain as if startled, and rose too,

mechanically. Lydgate instantaneously stooped to pick up the chain.

When he rose he was very near to a lovely little face set on a fair

long neck which he had been used to see turning about under the most

perfect management of self-contented grace. But as he raised his eyes

now he saw a certain helpless quivering which touched him quite newly,

and made him look at Rosamond with a questioning flash. At this moment

she was as natural as she had ever been when she was five years old:

she felt that her tears had risen, and it was no use to try to do

anything else than let them stay like water on a blue flower or let

them fall over her cheeks, even as they would.

That moment of naturalness was the crystallizing feather-touch: it

shook flirtation into love. Remember that the ambitious man who was

looking at those Forget-me-nots under the water was very warm-hearted

and rash. He did not know where the chain went; an idea had thrilled

through the recesses within him which had a miraculous effect in

raising the power of passionate love lying buried there in no sealed

sepulchre, but under the lightest, easily pierced mould. His words

were quite abrupt and awkward; but the tone made them sound like an

ardent, appealing avowal.

"What is the matter? you are distressed. Tell me, pray."

Rosamond had never been spoken to in such tones before. I am not sure

that she knew what the words were: but she looked at Lydgate and the

tears fell over her cheeks. There could have been no more complete

answer than that silence, and Lydgate, forgetting everything else,

completely mastered by the outrush of tenderness at the sudden belief

that this sweet young creature depended on him for her joy, actually

put his arms round her, folding her gently and protectingly--he was

used to being gentle with the weak and suffering--and kissed each of

the two large tears. This was a strange way of arriving at an

understanding, but it was a short way. Rosamond was not angry, but she

moved backward a little in timid happiness, and Lydgate could now sit

near her and speak less incompletely. Rosamond had to make her little

confession, and he poured out words of gratitude and tenderness with

impulsive lavishment. In half an hour he left the house an engaged

man, whose soul was not his own, but the woman's to whom he had bound

himself.