Middlemarch - Page 332/561

Dorothea sat almost motionless in her meditative struggle, while the

evening slowly deepened into night. But the struggle changed

continually, as that of a man who begins with a movement towards

striking and ends with conquering his desire to strike. The energy

that would animate a crime is not more than is wanted to inspire a

resolved submission, when the noble habit of the soul reasserts itself.

That thought with which Dorothea had gone out to meet her husband--her

conviction that he had been asking about the possible arrest of all his

work, and that the answer must have wrung his heart, could not be long

without rising beside the image of him, like a shadowy monitor looking

at her anger with sad remonstrance. It cost her a litany of pictured

sorrows and of silent cries that she might be the mercy for those

sorrows--but the resolved submission did come; and when the house was

still, and she knew that it was near the time when Mr. Casaubon

habitually went to rest, she opened her door gently and stood outside

in the darkness waiting for his coming up-stairs with a light in his

hand. If he did not come soon she thought that she would go down and

even risk incurring another pang. She would never again expect

anything else. But she did hear the library door open, and slowly the

light advanced up the staircase without noise from the footsteps on the

carpet. When her husband stood opposite to her, she saw that his face

was more haggard. He started slightly on seeing her, and she looked up

at him beseechingly, without speaking.

"Dorothea!" he said, with a gentle surprise in his tone. "Were you

waiting for me?"

"Yes, I did not like to disturb you."

"Come, my dear, come. You are young, and need not to extend your life

by watching."

When the kind quiet melancholy of that speech fell on Dorothea's ears,

she felt something like the thankfulness that might well up in us if we

had narrowly escaped hurting a lamed creature. She put her hand into

her husband's, and they went along the broad corridor together.