Middlemarch - Page 334/561

"Thank you very much for allowing me to interrupt you," said Dorothea,

immediately. "I am anxious to see Mr. Lydgate, if possible, before I

go home, and I hoped that you might possibly tell me where I could find

him, or even allow me to wait for him, if you expect him soon."

"He is at the New Hospital," said Rosamond; "I am not sure how soon he

will come home. But I can send for him."

"Will you let me go and fetch him?" said Will Ladislaw, coming forward.

He had already taken up his hat before Dorothea entered. She colored

with surprise, but put out her hand with a smile of unmistakable

pleasure, saying--

"I did not know it was you: I had no thought of seeing you here."

"May I go to the Hospital and tell Mr. Lydgate that you wish to see

him?" said Will.

"It would be quicker to send the carriage for him," said Dorothea, "if

you will be kind enough to give the message to the coachman."

Will was moving to the door when Dorothea, whose mind had flashed in an

instant over many connected memories, turned quickly and said, "I will

go myself, thank you. I wish to lose no time before getting home

again. I will drive to the Hospital and see Mr. Lydgate there. Pray

excuse me, Mrs. Lydgate. I am very much obliged to you."

Her mind was evidently arrested by some sudden thought, and she left

the room hardly conscious of what was immediately around her--hardly

conscious that Will opened the door for her and offered her his arm to

lead her to the carriage. She took the arm but said nothing. Will was

feeling rather vexed and miserable, and found nothing to say on his

side. He handed her into the carriage in silence, they said good-by,

and Dorothea drove away.

In the five minutes' drive to the Hospital she had time for some

reflections that were quite new to her. Her decision to go, and her

preoccupation in leaving the room, had come from the sudden sense that

there would be a sort of deception in her voluntarily allowing any

further intercourse between herself and Will which she was unable to

mention to her husband, and already her errand in seeking Lydgate was a

matter of concealment. That was all that had been explicitly in her

mind; but she had been urged also by a vague discomfort. Now that she

was alone in her drive, she heard the notes of the man's voice and the

accompanying piano, which she had not noted much at the time, returning

on her inward sense; and she found herself thinking with some wonder

that Will Ladislaw was passing his time with Mrs. Lydgate in her

husband's absence. And then she could not help remembering that he had

passed some time with her under like circumstances, so why should there

be any unfitness in the fact? But Will was Mr. Casaubon's relative,

and one towards whom she was bound to show kindness. Still there had

been signs which perhaps she ought to have understood as implying that

Mr. Casaubon did not like his cousin's visits during his own absence.

"Perhaps I have been mistaken in many things," said poor Dorothea to

herself, while the tears came rolling and she had to dry them quickly.

She felt confusedly unhappy, and the image of Will which had been so

clear to her before was mysteriously spoiled. But the carriage stopped

at the gate of the Hospital. She was soon walking round the grass

plots with Lydgate, and her feelings recovered the strong bent which

had made her seek for this interview.