Middlemarch - Page 397/561

"I am ashamed to trouble you, Mr. Farebrother," said Fred, whose fair

open face was propitiating, "but you are the only friend I can consult.

I told you everything once before, and you were so good that I can't

help coming to you again."

"Sit down, Fred, I'm ready to hear and do anything I can," said the

Vicar, who was busy packing some small objects for removal, and went on

with his work.

"I wanted to tell you--" Fred hesitated an instant and then went on

plungingly, "I might go into the Church now; and really, look where I

may, I can't see anything else to do. I don't like it, but I know it's

uncommonly hard on my father to say so, after he has spent a good deal

of money in educating me for it." Fred paused again an instant, and

then repeated, "and I can't see anything else to do."

"I did talk to your father about it, Fred, but I made little way with

him. He said it was too late. But you have got over one bridge now:

what are your other difficulties?"

"Merely that I don't like it. I don't like divinity, and preaching,

and feeling obliged to look serious. I like riding across country, and

doing as other men do. I don't mean that I want to be a bad fellow in

any way; but I've no taste for the sort of thing people expect of a

clergyman. And yet what else am I to do? My father can't spare me any

capital, else I might go into farming. And he has no room for me in

his trade. And of course I can't begin to study for law or physic now,

when my father wants me to earn something. It's all very well to say

I'm wrong to go into the Church; but those who say so might as well

tell me to go into the backwoods."

Fred's voice had taken a tone of grumbling remonstrance, and Mr.

Farebrother might have been inclined to smile if his mind had not been

too busy in imagining more than Fred told him.

"Have you any difficulties about doctrines--about the Articles?" he

said, trying hard to think of the question simply for Fred's sake.

"No; I suppose the Articles are right. I am not prepared with any

arguments to disprove them, and much better, cleverer fellows than I am

go in for them entirely. I think it would be rather ridiculous in me

to urge scruples of that sort, as if I were a judge," said Fred, quite

simply.

"I suppose, then, it has occurred to you that you might be a fair

parish priest without being much of a divine?"