Middlemarch - Page 411/561

"That must be as it suits my convenience," said Raffles coolly. "I see

no reason why I shouldn't make a few acquaintances hereabout. I'm not

ashamed of myself as company for anybody. I dropped my portmanteau at

the turnpike when I got down--change of linen--genuine--honor bright--more

than fronts and wristbands; and with this suit of mourning, straps

and everything, I should do you credit among the nobs here." Mr.

Raffles had pushed away his chair and looked down at himself,

particularly at his straps. His chief intention was to annoy

Bulstrode, but he really thought that his appearance now would produce

a good effect, and that he was not only handsome and witty, but clad in

a mourning style which implied solid connections.

"If you intend to rely on me in any way, Mr. Raffles," said Bulstrode,

after a moment's pause, "you will expect to meet my wishes."

"Ah, to be sure," said Raffles, with a mocking cordiality. "Didn't I

always do it? Lord, you made a pretty thing out of me, and I got but

little. I've often thought since, I might have done better by telling

the old woman that I'd found her daughter and her grandchild: it would

have suited my feelings better; I've got a soft place in my heart. But

you've buried the old lady by this time, I suppose--it's all one to her

now. And you've got your fortune out of that profitable business which

had such a blessing on it. You've taken to being a nob, buying land,

being a country bashaw. Still in the Dissenting line, eh? Still

godly? Or taken to the Church as more genteel?"

This time Mr. Raffles' slow wink and slight protrusion of his tongue

was worse than a nightmare, because it held the certitude that it was

not a nightmare, but a waking misery. Mr. Bulstrode felt a shuddering

nausea, and did not speak, but was considering diligently whether he

should not leave Raffles to do as he would, and simply defy him as a

slanderer. The man would soon show himself disreputable enough to make

people disbelieve him. "But not when he tells any ugly-looking truth

about _you_," said discerning consciousness. And again: it seemed no

wrong to keep Raffles at a distance, but Mr. Bulstrode shrank from the

direct falsehood of denying true statements. It was one thing to look

back on forgiven sins, nay, to explain questionable conformity to lax

customs, and another to enter deliberately on the necessity of

falsehood.

But since Bulstrode did not speak, Raffles ran on, by way of using time

to the utmost.

"I've not had such fine luck as you, by Jove! Things went confoundedly

with me in New York; those Yankees are cool hands, and a man of

gentlemanly feelings has no chance with them. I married when I came

back--a nice woman in the tobacco trade--very fond of me--but the

trade was restricted, as we say. She had been settled there a good

many years by a friend; but there was a son too much in the case. Josh

and I never hit it off. However, I made the most of the position, and

I've always taken my glass in good company. It's been all on the

square with me; I'm as open as the day. You won't take it ill of me

that I didn't look you up before. I've got a complaint that makes me a

little dilatory. I thought you were trading and praying away in London

still, and didn't find you there. But you see I was sent to you,

Nick--perhaps for a blessing to both of us."