Middlemarch - Page 425/561

Hath she her faults? I would you had them too.

They are the fruity must of soundest wine;

Or say, they are regenerating fire

Such as hath turned the dense black element

Into a crystal pathway for the sun.

If youth is the season of hope, it is often so only in the sense that

our elders are hopeful about us; for no age is so apt as youth to think

its emotions, partings, and resolves are the last of their kind. Each

crisis seems final, simply because it is new. We are told that the

oldest inhabitants in Peru do not cease to be agitated by the

earthquakes, but they probably see beyond each shock, and reflect that

there are plenty more to come.

To Dorothea, still in that time of youth when the eyes with their long

full lashes look out after their rain of tears unsoiled and unwearied

as a freshly opened passion-flower, that morning's parting with Will

Ladislaw seemed to be the close of their personal relations. He was

going away into the distance of unknown years, and if ever he came back

he would be another man. The actual state of his mind--his proud

resolve to give the lie beforehand to any suspicion that he would play

the needy adventurer seeking a rich woman--lay quite out of her

imagination, and she had interpreted all his behavior easily enough by

her supposition that Mr. Casaubon's codicil seemed to him, as it did to

her, a gross and cruel interdict on any active friendship between them.

Their young delight in speaking to each other, and saying what no one

else would care to hear, was forever ended, and become a treasure of

the past. For this very reason she dwelt on it without inward check.

That unique happiness too was dead, and in its shadowed silent chamber

she might vent the passionate grief which she herself wondered at. For

the first time she took down the miniature from the wall and kept it

before her, liking to blend the woman who had been too hardly judged

with the grandson whom her own heart and judgment defended. Can any

one who has rejoiced in woman's tenderness think it a reproach to her

that she took the little oval picture in her palm and made a bed for it

there, and leaned her cheek upon it, as if that would soothe the

creatures who had suffered unjust condemnation? She did not know then

that it was Love who had come to her briefly, as in a dream before

awaking, with the hues of morning on his wings--that it was Love to

whom she was sobbing her farewell as his image was banished by the

blameless rigor of irresistible day. She only felt that there was

something irrevocably amiss and lost in her lot, and her thoughts about

the future were the more readily shapen into resolve. Ardent souls,

ready to construct their coming lives, are apt to commit themselves to

the fulfilment of their own visions.