Middlemarch - Page 449/561

She was unpleasantly conscious that she had been on the verge of

speaking as "one of the foolish women speaketh"--telling first and

entreating silence after. But she had not entreated silence, and to

prevent Caleb's blame she determined to blame herself and confess all

to him that very night. It was curious what an awful tribunal the mild

Caleb's was to her, whenever he set it up. But she meant to point out

to him that the revelation might do Fred Vincy a great deal of good.

No doubt it was having a strong effect on him as he walked to Lowick.

Fred's light hopeful nature had perhaps never had so much of a bruise

as from this suggestion that if he had been out of the way Mary might

have made a thoroughly good match. Also he was piqued that he had been

what he called such a stupid lout as to ask that intervention from Mr.

Farebrother. But it was not in a lover's nature--it was not in

Fred's, that the new anxiety raised about Mary's feeling should not

surmount every other. Notwithstanding his trust in Mr. Farebrother's

generosity, notwithstanding what Mary had said to him, Fred could not

help feeling that he had a rival: it was a new consciousness, and he

objected to it extremely, not being in the least ready to give up Mary

for her good, being ready rather to fight for her with any man

whatsoever. But the fighting with Mr. Farebrother must be of a

metaphorical kind, which was much more difficult to Fred than the

muscular. Certainly this experience was a discipline for Fred hardly

less sharp than his disappointment about his uncle's will. The iron

had not entered into his soul, but he had begun to imagine what the

sharp edge would be. It did not once occur to Fred that Mrs. Garth

might be mistaken about Mr. Farebrother, but he suspected that she

might be wrong about Mary. Mary had been staying at the parsonage

lately, and her mother might know very little of what had been passing

in her mind.

He did not feel easier when he found her looking cheerful with the

three ladies in the drawing-room. They were in animated discussion on

some subject which was dropped when he entered, and Mary was copying

the labels from a heap of shallow cabinet drawers, in a minute

handwriting which she was skilled in. Mr. Farebrother was somewhere in

the village, and the three ladies knew nothing of Fred's peculiar

relation to Mary: it was impossible for either of them to propose that

they should walk round the garden, and Fred predicted to himself that

he should have to go away without saying a word to her in private. He

told her first of Christy's arrival and then of his own engagement with

her father; and he was comforted by seeing that this latter news

touched her keenly. She said hurriedly, "I am so glad," and then bent

over her writing to hinder any one from noticing her face. But here

was a subject which Mrs. Farebrother could not let pass.