"Try not to grieve, darling," said Lydgate, turning his eyes up towards
her. That she had chosen to move away from him in this moment of her
trouble made everything harder to say, but he must absolutely go on.
"We must brace ourselves to do what is necessary. It is I who have
been in fault: I ought to have seen that I could not afford-to live in
this way. But many things have told against me in my practice, and it
really just now has ebbed to a low point. I may recover it, but in the
mean time we must pull up--we must change our way of living. We shall
weather it. When I have given this security I shall have time to look
about me; and you are so clever that if you turn your mind to managing
you will school me into carefulness. I have been a thoughtless rascal
about squaring prices--but come, dear, sit down and forgive me."
Lydgate was bowing his neck under the yoke like a creature who had
talons, but who had Reason too, which often reduces us to meekness.
When he had spoken the last words in an imploring tone, Rosamond
returned to the chair by his side. His self-blame gave her some hope
that he would attend to her opinion, and she said--
"Why can you not put off having the inventory made? You can send the
men away to-morrow when they come."
"I shall not send them away," said Lydgate, the peremptoriness rising
again. Was it of any use to explain?
"If we left Middlemarch? there would of course be a sale, and that
would do as well."
"But we are not going to leave Middlemarch."
"I am sure, Tertius, it would be much better to do so. Why can we not
go to London? Or near Durham, where your family is known?"
"We can go nowhere without money, Rosamond."
"Your friends would not wish you to be without money. And surely these
odious tradesmen might be made to understand that, and to wait, if you
would make proper representations to them."
"This is idle Rosamond," said Lydgate, angrily. "You must learn to
take my judgment on questions you don't understand. I have made
necessary arrangements, and they must be carried out. As to friends, I
have no expectations whatever from them, and shall not ask them for
anything."
Rosamond sat perfectly still. The thought in her mind was that if she
had known how Lydgate would behave, she would never have married him.
"We have no time to waste now on unnecessary words, dear," said
Lydgate, trying to be gentle again. "There are some details that I
want to consider with you. Dover says he will take a good deal of the
plate back again, and any of the jewellery we like. He really behaves
very well."