Middlemarch - Page 47/561

Thus it happened, that after Sir James had ridden rather fast for half

an hour in a direction away from Tipton Grange, he slackened his pace,

and at last turned into a road which would lead him back by a shorter

cut. Various feelings wrought in him the determination after all to go

to the Grange to-day as if nothing new had happened. He could not help

rejoicing that he had never made the offer and been rejected; mere

friendly politeness required that he should call to see Dorothea about

the cottages, and now happily Mrs. Cadwallader had prepared him to

offer his congratulations, if necessary, without showing too much

awkwardness. He really did not like it: giving up Dorothea was very

painful to him; but there was something in the resolve to make this

visit forthwith and conquer all show of feeling, which was a sort of

file-biting and counter-irritant. And without his distinctly

recognizing the impulse, there certainly was present in him the sense

that Celia would be there, and that he should pay her more attention

than he had done before.

We mortals, men and women, devour many a disappointment between

breakfast and dinner-time; keep back the tears and look a little pale

about the lips, and in answer to inquiries say, "Oh, nothing!" Pride

helps us; and pride is not a bad thing when it only urges us to hide

our own hurts--not to hurt others.