Middlemarch - Page 489/561

"No," said Will, feeling suspicion and repugnance rising so strongly

within him, that without quite knowing what he did, he took his hat

from the floor and stood up. The impulse within him was to reject the

disclosed connection.

"Pray be seated, Mr. Ladislaw," said Bulstrode, anxiously. "Doubtless

you are startled by the suddenness of this discovery. But I entreat

your patience with one who is already bowed down by inward trial."

Will reseated himself, feeling some pity which was half contempt for

this voluntary self-abasement of an elderly man.

"It is my wish, Mr. Ladislaw, to make amends for the deprivation which

befell your mother. I know that you are without fortune, and I wish to

supply you adequately from a store which would have probably already

been yours had your grandmother been certain of your mother's existence

and been able to find her."

Mr. Bulstrode paused. He felt that he was performing a striking piece

of scrupulosity in the judgment of his auditor, and a penitential act

in the eyes of God. He had no clew to the state of Will Ladislaw's

mind, smarting as it was from the clear hints of Raffles, and with its

natural quickness in construction stimulated by the expectation of

discoveries which he would have been glad to conjure back into

darkness. Will made no answer for several moments, till Mr. Bulstrode,

who at the end of his speech had cast his eyes on the floor, now raised

them with an examining glance, which Will met fully, saying--

"I suppose you did know of my mother's existence, and knew where she

might have been found."

Bulstrode shrank--there was a visible quivering in his face and hands.

He was totally unprepared to have his advances met in this way, or to

find himself urged into more revelation than he had beforehand set down

as needful. But at that moment he dared not tell a lie, and he felt

suddenly uncertain of his ground which he had trodden with some

confidence before.

"I will not deny that you conjecture rightly," he answered, with a

faltering in his tone. "And I wish to make atonement to you as the one

still remaining who has suffered a loss through me. You enter, I

trust, into my purpose, Mr. Ladislaw, which has a reference to higher

than merely human claims, and as I have already said, is entirely

independent of any legal compulsion. I am ready to narrow my own

resources and the prospects of my family by binding myself to allow you

five hundred pounds yearly during my life, and to leave you a

proportional capital at my death--nay, to do still more, if more should

be definitely necessary to any laudable project on your part." Mr.

Bulstrode had gone on to particulars in the expectation that these

would work strongly on Ladislaw, and merge other feelings in grateful

acceptance.