“Oh, baby, if you get any tighter on me I’m going to f**king die,” he said.
“Seth, you’re… What is… God!” Pure molten ecstasy radiated from her sex; the back of her head met the wall with a thud as he pushed deeper into it. Her muscles began to jerk. Her nails dug hard into the leather of his jacket. She had no control now; it was all his, and he liked it that way, didn’t he? She couldn’t resist trying to squirm away from the intensity even as she strained toward it.
“Where you trying to go, huh? Come on me, Macy. Come on me, or I’ll take you outside and make you scream right there on the front lawn for the whole f**kin’ neighborhood to hear.”
The surge of panic and excitement at his words flung her over, even as she knew if every orgasm before had been mind-blowing, this one would surely seal her fate. There was no help for it. She wrapped him in a death grip, biting the leather on his shoulder to keep from shrieking as pleasure ripped so hard down her middle it was almost painful.
He rasped something her pleasure-saturated brain couldn’t decipher, churning harder against her. His new exuberance brushed her clit, catching her at the peak and flinging her higher. She cried out and sobbed and scratched at him, might have even slapped at him, before exhaustion pulled her under and she went boneless between him and the wall.
Slipping free and then scooping her up in his arms, he kicked the door closed and managed to hit a nearby light switch. She only knew because the blackness behind her closed eyelids was suddenly…less black. Her mind hadn’t rebooted yet. By the time she finally managed to pry her eyes open, she was lying on a bed in a dimly lit room.
“Still with me?” he asked, smoothing the hair back from her forehead.
“What the hell was that?”
He laughed, propping his head up on his elbow. “The hottest f**k I think I’ve ever had.”
Macy’s brows drew together. Would he ever think of what they did as more than that? Was she insane that she wanted him to?
“What’s the matter?”
“Am I…wet?” Something was definitely going on; her thighs were damp. Oh, God, the condom hadn’t broken, had it?
“Is that the first time that’s ever happened to you?”
“What?”
“Baby, that’s all you.” He trailed one fingertip up her leg. “The G-spot is a thing of wonder.”
Seriously? She’d never believed in all that female ejaculation stuff. Candace and Sam had debated it once, she thought, but she’d tuned them out…like much of what Candace had said about sex with genital piercings involved. She still felt wretched about the way she’d treated her friend despite all her apologies. “Are you sure?”
He gave a wry laugh. “Oh yeah. You can bet I’m f**king sure when I make a woman do that.” In one fluid motion, he stood from the bed. “Let me get you a towel.”
Embarrassment roared high in her face, and when she covered her face with her hands, she realized her legs weren’t the only things wet. Tears covered her cheeks. She sat up, staring at her damp palms in dismay. What the hell did he think of her now? That she was a broken, emotional, sexually repressed nightmare? Cruelly enough, the thought only made more tears drip from her eyes faster than she could frantically wipe them with the sleeves of her sweater.
“Macy, baby, what’s wrong?”
At the sound of his voice, she leaped up, panicked, thanking all that was holy her legs were able to hold her. She couldn’t suffer another indignity tonight. “Nothing. Can…can you take me home?”
“Wait, no. Shit, did I do something?”
This wasn’t how things were supposed to go, not at all. This was supposed to be fun. Where was the fun? Where was all this emotional crap coming from?
“Talk to me, dammit. I can’t fix it if you don’t talk to me.”
“I don’t need you to fix me,” she snapped and immediately wished she could’ve caught those words before they escaped. He froze midstep, a furrow appearing between his brows.
“I didn’t say I was f**king going to fix you. You’re not broken. But something’s got you all f**ked up, and maybe I can fix that. There’s a difference.”
“Is there? I just…” She exhaled deeply, then took slow, measured breaths, struggling to send the tears back where they belonged even as she scrubbed at them. “I’m sorry. Typically, I’m not a crier.”
He raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Okay.”
Great. He’d already suffered one psycho ex. She hoped he didn’t think he was standing in front of the next one. She chuckled without humor, giving up her battle with her own emotions and looking down to toy with her fingers. “It’s not your fault. It’s not anything you did.”
“I think I’d rather hear that it is. At least then I might be able to do something.” He came closer and handed her the towel he’d brought. Thankfully, he didn’t watch as she swiped at the remnants of her earlier pleasure and the emotional pain that chased it. He ambled away, shoving his hands in his pockets and sightlessly staring at some pictures on the dresser. She had to strip off her panties—she’d have to get the other ones out of her purse.
“Don’t you think it’s pretty obvious how this will end?” she blurted.
He looked at her then. The bitterness in his reply wrenched something inside her. As if the words dredged up old hurts she couldn’t possibly imagine. “Yeah. I guess I do.”
“Then why am I here?”
“I don’t know, Macy. Why are you? I don’t feel like I have to explain what you’re doing here, after what I said to you in the car.”
“You don’t believe these things ever work out. I’m surprised you would even want to try.”
“Maybe at last I see something worth the risk.”
She didn’t want to resist the smile teasing at her lips, but she couldn’t trust it yet. “Really?”
“Well, not so much when you’re a sobbing mess or a mopey drunk, but—” He ducked to avoid the pillow she snatched up and tossed at him. “Just kidding. I even like you then.”
“I can’t imagine why.”
“Jesus. I don’t know how someone as beautiful and accomplished and awesome as you ever took such a hit to your self-esteem. Can you explain that, please?”
“My accident—”
“That’s all it was. An accident. It could’ve happened to anyone. It happened to me, every little kid’s nightmare. It’s hard; I know it is. But you don’t let it defeat you.”
She nodded, still sniffling. “I did let it. It…I feel like it took away my identity. It made me afraid. I even became afraid of my friends when they started changing around me. I felt like my world was snatched from under me once, and I got it back, but…what if I’m not so lucky next time?”
He crossed to her, tipping her chin up so she was forced to look at him…not that she thought she wanted to look anywhere else at that moment, or ever. Some unnamable emotion shuddered through her chest as his warm, gentle hands cupped both her cheeks. “Stop. Being. Afraid.”
Was she so afraid because she’d found the one person with the tools to put her back together again? He’d suffered a loss so profound she felt like an idiot little child complaining about the boo-boo she got when she fell off her horse.