"Don't worry about it," she mumbled. She'd never talk to him again after this. She couldn't figure out how he knew she was even in his math class. There was silence for a bit, while they worked.
"What's your name?" he asked.
So much for not disturbing her. "Mandy," she said, not looking up for her papers.
"Mandy, that's a nice name. Can you help me here? I can't read this part."
Forcing herself not to sigh, she turned and looked at her paper. He was grinning at her. "Just kidding. Your writing is typewriter perfect. I just wanted you to look at me."
In spite of herself, she'd smiled. She remembered that giddiness. He'd wanted her to look at him. Her. She wanted to hug herself with glee.
"That's better," he said. "I was afraid you didn't like me."
Hah! She shrugged. "I just, like to be alone, y'know."
"Nope. I better let you get back to work then."
She smiled again and looked back at her paper. A few minutes later, he tapped her shoulder. "Uh, can you explain something to me? I'm totally not getting this at all."
She spent the remaining lunch hour explaining the concepts to him, while he stared at her with open interest. The bell rang and she gathered her things to go. "Thanks," he said, offering his hand. She shook it, trying not to shake from mere contact with him. "Can you help me tomorrow with an English assignment? 'Cause your like this really awesome teacher." He glanced down at his feet.
Mandy looked around again. "Sure. I guess. If you want."
Noon hours, turned into meeting after school in the library. And then three weeks from when they first started, he invited her over to his house. And within a month he asked her to dinner.
Mandy pulled herself out her memory. Next she'd start thinking about her first kiss, or losing her virginity. Or when Kip left. And she'd let him go, no strings. He was going to be the next NHL star goalie.
She felt the overwhelming sadness in her chest. An exact replica of sadness she'd felt the day he moved out of their shared apartment in Saskatoon. She hadn't shown him a bit of it then. Knowing if she did, he wouldn't leave her at all.
Shaking herself out the past all over again, she decided not to make a decision tonight. Maybe not this week. There was no rush to decide, she asserted. As she shut down the computer, she felt an overwhelming exhaustion come over her. She packed up her school papers and put them in her bag, ready for the morning. She checked on Colton once more and then shut off the lights and double checked the door locks.