The Heart of Rachael - Page 15/76

To be ignored, to be deliberately set aside, to be insulted by a

selfishness so calculating and so deliberate as to make her own

attitude seem all warmth and generosity by comparison, genuinely

astonished her. At first, indeed, a sort of magnificent impatience

had prevented her from feeling any stronger emotion than

astonishment. It was too ridiculous, said the bride to herself

tolerantly; it could not go on, of course, this preposterous

consideration of a child of ten, this belittling consideration of

her own place in the scheme as less Clarence's wife than Billy's

mother. It must adjust itself with every week that they three

lived together, the child slipping back to her own life, the

husband and wife sharing theirs. When Clarence's first fears for

his daughter's comfort under the new rule were set at rest, when

his confidence in the wisdom and efficiency of his wife was fully

established, then a normal relationship must ensue. "Surely

Clarence wouldn't ask a woman to marry him just to give Billy a

home and social backing?" Rachael asked herself, in those first

puzzled days in Paris.

That was seven years ago. She knew exactly that for truth now.

Long ago she had learned that whatever impulse had moved Clarence

Breckenridge to ask her to marry him was quickly displaced by his

vision of Billy's need as being greater than his own.

It had been an unpalatable revelation, for Rachael was a woman

proud as well as beautiful. But presently she had accepted the

situation as it stood, somehow fighting her way, as the years went

by, to fresh acceptances: the acceptance of Billy's ripening

charms, the acceptance of Clarence's more and more frequent times

of inebriated irresponsibility. Silently she made her mental

adjustments, moving through her gay and empty life in an

unsuspected bitterness of solitude, won to protest and rebellion

only when the cold surface she presented to the world was

threatened from within or without.

It was distinctly threatened now, she realized with a little sick

twist of apprehension at heart, when her casual inquiry to a maid

upon entering was answered by a discreet, "Yes, Mrs. Breckenridge,

Mr. Breckenridge came home half an hour ago. Alfred is with him."

This was unexpected. Rachael did not glance either at her guest or

her stepdaughter, but she disposed of them both in a breath.

"Someone wants you on the telephone, Billy," she repeated after

the maid's information. "Take it in the library. Run right up to

my room, Elinor, and I'll be there in two minutes. I'll send some

one in with towels and brushes; you've time for a tub. Take these

things, Helda, and give them to Annie, and tell her to lookout for

Miss Vanderwall."