Love Like This - Page 29/92

Nicole wiped her eyes again from the fresh stream of tears. "I'll be fine and you?"

"Sometimes I feel bad, sometimes I feel nothing." She paused to catch her breath. "I don't mind the badness. It's the nothing that scares me."

She covered her mouth to hold back a sob. Nanna's eyes went to the papers in Nicole's hands and without being asked to explain she said, "Dr. Rucker gave me these papers. They're about you choosing to be revived if...your heart should fail. I told him I could make the decision for you."

"Can you Nicky? Can you really?"

Nicole began to weep earnestly. "I don't want you to leave me. I don't want to be without you, Nanna." She fell to her knees and gently laid her head on her grandmother's bosom. "Please Nanna, say you'll stay."

"Nanna's tired baby." Weakly Nanna patted Nicole's shoulder offering her as much comfort as she could. "Look at me child."

Nicole looked up at the eyes just like her, but tired and old, yet filled with so much unconditional love, the pain of losing these feelings made Nicole's chest hurt.

"I've been talking to my Jesus and it's time for me to join him, child, but I got a lot to say to you so hush now."

Forcing her sobs to dissipate, she moved back in the chair, but moved it closer to the bed. Nanna requested some air and Nicole turned on her oxygen that ran up into her nose. Nanna had requested to go home instead of staying at the hospital because she didn't like being away from the home she had married in and raised her family in. There were home nurses that visited daily and there was an emergency alert button if ever they needed to rush her to the hospital not far from where they lived.

"I've lived a long time," the old woman said after taking several deep breaths. "I've loved many, but your grandfather was a man I will love forever. He's waiting fro me and I can't wait to see hi." Between each sentence she took long deep breaths. "When it's time, let me go, child. Let me go home to my husband, my daughter, and most of all, my Lord. I know it will be rough, but you won't be alone, Nicole. This body I'm in now can't take another year on this earth and I can't protect you like I want to. When I get my new body, me and the Lord will watch over you. We'll make sure you are safe. Understand?"