The Bairn of Brianag - Page 106/180

Rabbit was patting me, saying, "Wake up, Miss Jessie, wake up!" and I realized that I was not at Gillean, and my mother was far away. I lay with a heavy feeling of shame upon me.

My heart twisted in me, and I wept.

I loved Robbie; I knew that I had not done wrong by giving myself to him, for no law could have made me more his wife than I had already been, even before the first time we lay together. What I could not comprehend was my mother's hostility and distrust toward me. How could she have believed that I was a whore who would lie with the Negroes? What had I ever done to make her believe it so?

Rabbit went into the other room, clucking and shaking her head. "It's not good to be having nightmares now," she said. "I make you a good tea."

I followed her and sat by the fire, even though the night was warm. I longed for Robbie, wondered where he was. Surely it was not safe for Rabbit and me to be alone so far from the main house; I wished at least for Pete to be nearby. Rabbit put leaves into a crockery teapot and poured water into it. In a little while she poured the drink into a cup and gave it to me. I sipped it, savoring the taste of the herbs mixed with honey, and when I was finished, thanked her and went back to bed.

When I next woke, it was light outside. Rabbit brought my tea to me in bed, and then we dressed and went up to the main house.

"Good mornin' to ye, lass!" called Granny Moira from the porch. "How's aw w'ye?"

"Brawlie, thank ye!" I called back. "Have you seen my husband this day?" I climbed the steps and stood before her, making a curtsey.

"D'ye think you can keep a McDonald husband on a leash, lass?" laughed the old lady. "A McDonald husband will not stay on a wife's command."

I felt my face color. "I do not wish him to stay, only to say where he is going," I said.

"I am afraid to be alone."

"Ach, do not be afraid, lass," she said, taking my hand. "Here, sit beside me." I sat in the chair next to her. To Rabbit she said, "Girl, fetch your mistress tea." She sighed. "Ach, how I wish your Robbie's mother and father had lived to see this!" she said. "What a handsome pair they were!"