The Bairn of Brianag - Page 122/180

A few days later, I was awakened from my afternoon rest by the sound of boots on the porch; then the door opened and I heard Robbie speak to Rabbit. I sat up in bed quickly, blinking, smoothing my hair, tying the ribbon of my shift. He knocked softly at the door.

"Come in!" I said, folding my hands in my lap.

"I am sorry to wake you," he said, his hat still in his hand; "a letter has come for you."

"Oh!" I clasped my hands together at my breast. "From Cathy?"

"Nay, it is from your father," he said.

"Oh!" I said again, and he held the letter out to me. I stared at the writing on the outside; I realized that I had never before seen my own name written in my father's hand.

My hands were shaking. I looked up, and Robbie was watching me. He looked away, clearing his throat. "I shall leave you," he said, bowing, and went out, closing the door softly.

I broke the seal and unfolded the paper.

"Dear daughter," the letter read. "I regret that the first letter I have ever written to you brings you such grievous tidings; but I know of no other way for you to receive this news. My heart is burdened with grief; I wish you were here that I might clasp you in my arms; but as you are now a wife and no longer mine, I must be content with it.

"Your mother is dead. She took her own life one week after you went away . . ."

The writing faded before my eyes; the room filled with clouds. I heard a low moaning, which grew into wailing, and realized that the sound was coming from my own throat. I could not see. I felt hands on me, heard voices, Robbie's and Rabbit's, and I thrashed and fought against them, twisting away from them, burying my face in the pillows, screaming into their softness, pulling them tight about me, until at last darkness engulfed me.

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When I woke the room was very bright; I could see the lightness even before I opened my eyes. The curtains hung motionless at the windows. It was stiflingly hot. I tried to turn my head, but I could not. I tried to lift my hand, but I was so weak I felt as though my body was fused to the mattress beneath me. I tried to speak, but I had no voice.

I lay for a long while, breathing and listening to the slow beats of my heart, until I heard the door open and someone approaching the bed, and I saw that it was Rabbit.