The Bairn of Brianag - Page 79/180

I curtsied. "Goodnight, madam, sir," I said. I trailed up the stairs in Robbie's wake; though he had already disappeared I felt as though the atmosphere of the house held his essence, and I wanted to follow it to him, like a bee to a flower. I did not know where to go.

Should I go to his room? Or would he come to mine?

I went into Cathy's room, and Rabbit came to help me undress. My back and shoulders were almost healed; she did not apply the ointment again. She pulled one of Cathy's old shifts over my head, and then I told her to go. I sat by the window, looking out into the darkness. The dinner and the wine I had taken grew restless in me. I ran to the slop bucket and retched into it. I wished for Rabbit but was too ill to ring for her. I lay on the floor, my tears trickling down onto the rug.

I spent my wedding night alone.

The next day, I dressed and came downstairs for dinner. Robbie was not there; I asked after him.

"He is on an errand; he will return soon," said Mr. Randall. I was distraught, not understanding; but I hid my disquiet and after dinner, during which I ate nothing but only sipped water and a little wine, I went out onto the porch to sit in a swing.

Robbie came galloping up shortly; seeing him come closer caused my heart to race, my breaths to quicken. I was almost faint when he dismounted, landing on both feet and throwing the reins to Pete. He leapt up the steps and came to bow over my hand.

"Mrs. Stewart!" he said, and laughed.

I felt heat rise in my face. The weal was no longer swollen so it did not hurt me. I snatched my hand back. My nausea receded as anger strengthened me.

"Where have you been?" I demanded in a low voice. "Why did you not come to me last night? You have humiliated me."

"My dear, you must have more time to recover from your injuries before you fulfill your conjugal duties," he said, laughing at me, his emerald eyes snapping, and my face grew hotter than ever. So marriage would not change the way he tormented me.

"Oh!" I said. "How-how could you, Robbie! I was so lonely for you! I have not seen you alone for days!"

He sat beside me, leaning close to whisper into my ear. "Wanton," he said.