"Girl, you know you love this king ding-a-ling, so stop tripping and come over here and get you some more of this. If anything I know about my baby, it's that she's a closet freak."
Jerk. Lela rolled her eyes so hard, she thought they were going to pop out of their sockets. Picking the phone back up from its cradle, she dialed the magic numbers.
"This is 9-1-1. What is your emergency?"
Lela looked at Tyrese with his happy-go-lucky self. His confidence got on her last nerve, but this would be his wake-up call.
It was time to unleash the drama queen, and she knew exactly how to bring her out.
"Operator!" she screamed, "I'm hurt bad! There's a man here in my house! Please, I want him out!" Her voice flipped to highpitched and hysterical. "He beat me! Hurry, I don't know what he'll do next!"
If Tyrese was looking at her sideways before, the mixture of confusion and fear he had on his face then took crazy to the next level. Jumping to his feet, he said, "What are you doing? Why are you calling the police?"
She raised her right hand in a "talk to the hand" motion as she smiled into the phone. She ignored him as she panted into the phone like a woman in distress.
The supportive operator asked her to provide more information, including the name of the assailant.
"Tyrese Whitman!" She told the operator. "My ex-boyfriend. He just jumped on me and won't leave." She panted hysterically.
His crazed look could have pierced her skin when she said his name. One thing about Tyrese, he was terrified of the police. He'd just as soon take off running the other way than walk past a police officer on the sidewalk, so she knew he would punk out if she called them to the house.
The operator then asked if the assailant was on the lease.
"No, I'm the only one on this mortgage. He is an intruder!" Then she thought to herself, Thank God I don't have his name on anything in my house, because the police would not be able to remove him from the premises. Then Lela heard exactly what she wanted to hear.
"We're sending an officer out right now, ma'am."
"Thank you! You might be saving my life!"
After Lela disconnected the call, Tyrese shot all up in her face, demanding answers.
"What the hell have you just done?" he yelled.